The Future Of Laundry Looks A Lot Like A Box Of Franzia

November 13, 2018 / Posted by:

The folks at Tide may finally be recovering from young dipshits thinking their pods were edible. But I guess when they decided to rebrand their containers, they looked to the boxed wine they guzzled each night after a day of lecturing teens on why it isn’t great to eat laundry detergent.

Tide is hopping on the environmental train by coming out with a new eco-friendly container. Sure, it’s going to help the world be a better place and you’ll definitely never see a sad video of a turtle with a Tide jug up its nose. However, this also looks like a colorful Bota Box from the Trader Joe’s wine aisle.

Vox says Tide’s repackaged laundry detergent is a push to be friendlier to the environment and cut down on shipping costs. The new stuff has 60% less plastic and 30% less water than the old plastic bottle. That’s great, but if idiots were eating Tide Pods, they’re most certainly going to start drinking this stuff like they’re getting their evening fix of Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio.

It really begs the question: Is Tide is just trying to have a heavy hand in social Darwinism? Hit the youngins with the Tide Pods, and then get the 21+ crowd who might want to spice up their wine night.

For the record, Tide issued a statement on the new design that implies they fully know what their new box looks like:

“We all know laundry detergent is for cleaning clothes. To be sure people know this is detergent, we put a large picture of our Tide bottle on the side of the box. Whether your Tide comes in a box or a bottle, it should be stored up and away, out of the reach of children.”

That’s PR speak for, “If you honestly think this is a boxed Merlot, you deserve what’s coming.

Pic: Procter & Gamble

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