The Philadelphia Flyers (they’re a hockey team for you non-sportsball people) introduced a terrifying new mascot back in September named Gritty. He looks sort of like if you crossed a fed-after midnight Mogwai with Cousin It and put it in a pair of skates. Despite Gritty’s fearsome countenance, Flyers fans seem to have embraced the big cracked-out lug. Vice Sports (via Mashable) reports that 25-year-old James Kirn embraced Gritty so much that he got him tattooed on his butt cheek. And we’re not just talking a tiny thumbnail sorta falling off his hip on to his ass. We’re talking his whole buttock is now Gritty the Indescribable Hockey Mascot. Jimmy, what were you thinking? Spoiler alert – Jimbo was shitfaced.
Kirn told Vice Sports that he was originally supposed to get Gritty tattoos with a friend after “quite a few” beers — weird display of friendship, but OK — but the friend backed out.
“And the next thing I know I’m face down getting my ass tattooed,” he said in the interview.
If I had a nickel for every time I got drunk and ended up face down and getting my ass [redacted]. Jimmy’s family fully supports his new claim to fame. In fact, they plan to be a whole clan of ass-tattooed sports freaks.
Apparently his brother and sister loved the idea so much, it inspired them to get the Phillie Phanatic and Sixers mascot tatted on their respective butts. His 13-year-old brother wants to get the Eagles mascot inked on his behind when he’s of age, and the siblings have plans to take a twisted group photo.
There’s no word on what Ma and Pa Kirn might have inscribed on THEIR asses. But, suffice to say, you probably don’t want to go bar-hopping with these people. Or do you?
Those of you who are cool with crack can check out the full glory of James Kirn’s ass tat of Gritty after the jump:
— james kirn (@jkirn93) October 22, 2018