Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Because some of you are freaks with fucked-up fetishes, I got a few requests to make Gritty, the new mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers (that’s hockey), a HSOTD. I mean, I’m all for having a fucked-up fetish, but getting moist in the tip over an off-brand Animal from The Muppets whose been banned from nearly every grocery store in Philadelphia for stealing bags of beef jerky for their silica gel packets to make his drug of choice out of?!!! Although, he is a ginger, so I sort of get it, you nasty tramps!

The Philadelphia Inquirer says that on Monday, the Flyers invited a bunch of kids to the Please Touch Museum where they debuted their new mascot Gritty. Yes, they invited children to meet a Muppet who looks like he’s on the national sex offender registry list at the Please Touch Museum. If a WRONG AS FUCK Museum exists, that little moment needs to be its Mona Lisa. Where was Chris Hansen to crash the walls of that museum to tackle Gritty and drag him to a prison cell where he belongs?!

Once the Flyers traumatized a group of children, they burped out this statement about Gritty and admitted that he’s pretty much an asshole.

“His father was a ‘bully,’ so naturally he has some of those tendencies – talented but feisty, a fierce competitor, known for his agility given his size. He’s loyal but mischievous; the ultimate Flyers fan who loves the orange and black, but is unwelcoming to anyone who opposes his team. Legend has it he earned the name Gritty for possessing an attitude so similar to the team he follows.”

They also released a horrifying clip that probably looks exactly like footage from Trump’s brain scan:

The only place Gritty should be welcomed at is rehab since it’s obvious that he injects the wrong kind of meth straight into his eyeballs.

Gossamer’s cracked out cousin also made his debut at a game yesterday where he did the Macarena. See, I told you he was on the wrong stuff.

And because every crack high must come down, he fell on the ice. I’m sure this picture will be used during his episode of Intervention.

But seriously, I can’t help but not love this flame-broiled wreck:

If Carrot Top got a Brazilian blowout on his crotch bush and threw some 99 Cent Store googly eyes on it, it would probably look exactly like Gritty. I’m in love… and also a little disgusted with myself.

Pic: @GrittyNHL

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