I guess hell hath no fury like a British morning radio DJ relegated to the afternoon. Nick Grimshaw may not be a household name to everyone in the U.S., but for those of us whose idea of fine literature is a litany of subscriptions to British gay magazines (hypothetically speaking, of course), he’s mother England’s gay version of Carson Daly, focusing only on Top 40 songs and feigning interest in what Rihanna puts on her bagel in the morning during an interview just so she’ll grant an exclusive debut of her 900th single in two weeks.
I guess Nick’s tenure of The Radio 1 Breakfast Show for BBC Radio 1 has been notable for scaring viewers away because they moved him to an afternoon show. He was interviewed about the perceived slight, which is pretty amazing since a scorned gay with no fucks to give might be the worst thing to happen to a celebrity’s image – in this case, Angelina Jolie and Will Smith!
The Times already had me hooked from the beginning over how sad this interview sounds. They immediately launch into how Nick lost two million (!) listeners for the morning show over his watch and had to be getting paid less than he was on morning radio. They also flaunt how the interview took place in an empty pub. Honestly, that was nice of them since an empty Boston pub is where I’ve always gone to sob over career setbacks. It doesn’t seem like Nick plans on interviewing celebrities anymore because he let us know which ones are bitches and which ones are little cherubs. Presumably, Pimp Mama Kris’s dementors on that side of the pond got to Nick, because he said this of Kim Kardashian:
“She wasn’t trying to be nice, she was just a sweet, pretty girl; a bit airheady and taking pictures of herself, which is what she is selling. It isn’t an act.”
Sure, Jan. It’s kind of hard to imagine Nick hating anyone since he’s like a little Cockney Andy Cohen and friends with the likes of Alexa Chung, Rita Ora, Lily Allen, Mark Ronson, and Florence Welch (and counting). Nevertheless, you can bet your ass he has a few on his shit list. He found Angelina “cold.” That’s not a frigid personality, Nick! That’s just what angelic perfection looks like in person! He also found Will to be pretty fake:
“He was high-fiving the receptionist and saying, ‘You’re the best receptionist ever.’ High-fiving the phone person and saying, ‘You’d better answer those phones!’ which I thought was a tad patronizing.”
Nick said it seemed like Will was drawing attention to how famous he was against how the people in the office had to answer phones. That may be a little patronizing, but it isn’t like he said, “Independence Day residuals walking through, so you better keep your $6.99/hour asses in those seats listening to people call in requests to play ‘Despacito’!” I guess that behavior was just reserved for Madonna.