Patricia Clarkson is out here doing the Lord’s work, honey! And by that I mean she is exposing the peen sizes of Hollywood. Thank you! Thank you, Patricia! AMEN! Do a movie with Henry Cavill next! Please, I’m begging you!
Patricia was Watch What Happens Live! with Elizabeth Perkins last night. While playing a round of a game called: ‘How Big Was It?’ (us gays… always with the innuendo) Andy Cohen asked Patricia: “Who had your biggest chance of being your friend with benefits on the set of Friends with Benefits?” Patricia played Mila Kunis’ mom in the movie. Patricia took the opportunity to reach into her chest of secrets and pull one out tagged: Penis.
Patricia decided to let us know all about what Justin Timberlake‘s got down there. JT may give off HDE (hamster dick energy), but Patricia says he’s got Big Dick Energy. She replied: “Hands down Justin Timberlake. Cause if we want to talk about big…” Oh my! I just clutched my pearls! Andy Cohen wanted to clutch something else, because he could not hear enough about this penis. He was so excited by the revelation, telling her it was the best scoop in the history of the show. “We’ve been doing this show for nine years, that’s maybe the best scoop ever!” Scoop it up Andy! Ride the high! You know all those unpaid Bravo interns ate well last night.
They also played Plead the Fifth (no innuendo here) where Patricia continued to earn her way into the rankings of Iconic Female Inspirations in my Homosexual Hall of Fame, by throwing shade like a fem otter at drag brunch in a crop top sipping mimosas.
When asked about the allegations brought against Kevin Spacey (who she worked with on House of Cards) Patricia told Andy that she was: “Not that surprised.” Oh honey! Don’t you dare plead the fifth! Tell me who he grabbed! Who’s dick did he coddle? Let me know! Then, when asked about the horrible Annie remake where she made a cameo (and where Cameron Diaz killed the art of song) and what rating out of 10 she would give it, Patricia revealed: “I’ve never seen it, so I’m going to give it a 10!” You shady bitch! Did not watch her own damn movie? And since Patricia was being a little shady, I’m going to tell myself that she meant that Justin Timberlake IS a big dick.