Halle Berry Doesn’t Care If “Catwoman” Was Hated Because She Got PAID!

April 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Whenever the name Halle Berry comes to mind I never think about Boomerang, Losing Isaiah or the movie she won the Academy Award for Monster’s Ball. No sir. When I think of Halle I immediately go straight to Catwoman. It’s awful. Like a clump of congealed kitty litter resting up underneath a couch, making everything stink. But I LOVE IT!  And apparently she does too because they gave her a whole ‘lotta money for it.

After at the GLAAD Media Awards a couple of weeks ago, Halle took a moment to expound upon the crazy-successful Black Panther by stating, “Behind every Black Panther there’s a Black Catwoman!” Halle then asked the audience if the movie can get another chance. Uh, Yes! Kick Alex Borstein’s ass out of the best friend role and hire me. I’ll supply all the Fancy Feast and scratching posts you need for the set if you’re serious. However,  I’m the only one who wants to give it another chance because, as I stated before, it’s a terrible movie. But Halle doesn’t care, because while y’all were laughing at her performance she was laughing all the way to the bank.

E! News reports that Halle was honored during Monday’s 2018 Matrix Awards in New York City and she spoke about her career and her intuition. As she blabbed on and on about her success, and Monster’s Ball she noticed the audience was falling asleep. That’s when she decided to break out her whip and purred a few times before giving the people what they really wanted: CATWOMAN!

“Everybody around me said, ‘Girl don’t do it, it’s gonna be the death of you, it’s gonna end your career.’ Well guess what I did? I followed my intuition and I did a movie called Catwoman…and it bombed! Miserably.

“But I assumed it. Because you know what? While it ‘failed’ to most people, it wasn’t a failure for me. Because guess what? I met so many interesting people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise, I got to learn two forms of martial arts and I got to learn what not to do, and learning what not to do is as important as learning what to do. And I got that gift, and I got a shitload of money that changed my life.”

Halle is speaking my kinda language. As long as the check clears, who cares. But let’s revisit this whole Black Panther and Catwoman mash-up. They’re both cats. They’re both fast. The only difference is that one is a really awesome movie, and the other is Catwoman. Now that I think about it, let’s just leave her in the $1 Walmart bin where she belongs.

Pic: Warner Bros.

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