Please Stop Hetero-Speculating On Jack Antonoff’s Personal Life!

January 17, 2018 / Posted by:

It didn’t take long after Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff announced they were over for stories to come out about how he’s moved on and was dating a “musician“. People also questioned who his rumored “musician” rebound was and the bets were being placed on Lorde. But don’t you dare ever think of Jack and Lorde in such a way! Whether or not Jack and Lorde are engaging in sacred heterosexual acts of boy-on-girl dating rituals is none of your business. Lorde confirmed she too wasn’t feeling the speculation by retweeting Jack’s tweet.

Hetero normative gossip? I know Jack swears he’s single, but he and Lena Dunham really ought to think about finding a way to make it work between the two of them. They’re obviously soul mates.

And you hear that ladies? Jack is single and ready to mingle! But only if you’re seriously invested in such a deep commitment as dual-single mingling. No casual hook-ups need apply. Please provide letters of reference from at least two previous sacred relationships, as well as a brief description on what “deep” means to you.

 

Pic: Wenn.com

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