Every day, I read a story that makes me think that we’re all trapped in one really long acid trip, and one day we’ll wake up in the desert and realize that we just dropped the wrong shit at Burning Man. That’s all. J. Harvey covered one of those stories this past weekend.
This surreal fight started when Chris Evans tweeted about the confirmation of Jeff Sessions as Attorney General and said that if racist demon anus David Duke agrees with that choice, then something is really really wrong. Captain America’s tweet awoke the dehydrated tape worm and he spit back by calling Chris Evans a “dumb actor” and other shit. I thought that was the end of another WTF fight for the WTF feuds history books. But then Reverend Henry Kane’s more evil older half-brother kept on going.
David Duke kept wanting to tussle and farted out something about how Captain America’s dick is helping to cause “white genocide.” FYI: The character of Captain America was created by two Jewish men, Jack Kirby and Joe Sim.
— David Duke (@DrDavidDuke) February 12, 2017
Captain America should’ve responded with, “Turn on your location,” but he kept it classy and tweeted this instead:
I don't hate them. That's YOUR method. I love. Try it. It's stronger than hate. It unites us. I promise it's in you under the anger and fear https://t.co/RGnH4rrblq
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) February 13, 2017
Chris Evans stopped there and went off to do something else, like recover from partying it up frat-style in Houston. But the anti-Semitic, frostbitten vulture turd kept on and continued to shit up on Twitter about Captain America and other comic book characters. David Duke is obsessed with Captain America now. That zombie fart Googled for pictures of Chris and continued to tweet at him. I bet that stapled to David Duke’s bedroom ceiling is a picture of Chris Evans as Captain America and ever night he- You know, I’m going to stop right here and bite my fingers. There’s a basement under the bottom of a barrel and I know, because I’ve hit it several times. But I’m not about to find out if there’s a basement under the basement under a bottom of a barrel by writing David Duke and Captain America fanfic. Not today.
And if for some strange reason I end up raising kids and they ask me about 2017, I’ll say, “Well, it was a time when the actor who plays Captain America got into a fight on Twitter with a real white supremacist. That sums it up.”
Pic: Walt Disney Pictures