Kanye West And Justin Bieber Think The Grammys Are For The Dusty Out-Of-Touch Olds

January 31, 2017 / Posted by:

I learned that the Grammys were meaningless years ago when they failed to honor the musical artistry of the Spice Girls. How can I take a musical awards show seriously when they don’t give one nomination to the Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Chopin and Vivaldi of our time? (Actually, that’s not a fair comparison. Beethoven and them never produced anything as artistic as “zig-a-zig-ah.“) Apparently, Kanye West and Justin Bieber have figured out that the Grammys are out-of-touch and will not grace the ceremony with their presence next month. Forget about the world crumbling into the gutter right now, the real reason why our cheeks are covered with tears today is because Kanye and The Biebs aren’t going to the Grammys. How will we ever find the strength to go on?

Kanye already threatened the Grammys with a good time by promising not to go if Frank Ocean wasn’t nominated. Frank’s album Blond wasn’t nominated for one Grammy and that’s because he didn’t submit it. Frank also thinks that the Grammys are the double-pleated mom jeans of music award shows and feels like it doesn’t represent artists like him.

UsWeekly says that Kanye isn’t going to the Grammys and partly because he wants to “decompress” after his breakdown. But also because of Frank Ocean not getting nominated. TMZ says that Justin Bieber is sitting out the Grammys too, because he feels like they’ve snubbed many young singers.

The “Sorry” singer, 22, is ditching the 59th annual Grammys because he “doesn’t think the Grammys are relevant or representative, especially when it comes to young singers,”

Kanye got 8 Grammy nominations and The Biebs got 4, so did those tricks did shade themselves by thinking that Grammy voters are out-of-touch?

Drake, who’s nominated for 8 Grammys, also won’t be there, but TMZ it’s because he’s touring through the UK.

It scrapes a layer off of my already-thin soul to agree with Kanye and The Biebs, but I have to agree with them about the Grammys. I mean, the fact that Justin Bieber got 4 Grammy nominations means that shit has the prestige of a Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. I take that back. The Spice Girls have been nominated for a Kids Choice Awards, so the Grammys are below that.

And Kanye is probably really sitting out because he just doesn’t have the energy for it right now. Nearly everyone who wins a Grammy is probably going to take a second to verbally diarrhea all over Jabba the Trump, and Kanye would have to Crisco up his face and jump onto the stage to defend his sweetheart.

Pic: Justin Bieber’s Now-Dead Instagram

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