Beyonce Got A Lot Of Grammy Nominations
The nominations for the 59th Grammy Awards were announced this morning, and to the shock of absolutely no one except maybe a Mormon granny who’s been on a quilting retreat for the past 12 months, both Beyonce and Adele got a lot of nominations. Beyonce got 9 and Adele got 5. Oh, and some other people got nominated for awards too. For example, human UTIs The Chainsmokers got a nomination for Best New Artist. The Grammys are in February, which means The Chainsmokers only have two months to get matching custom-made suits fitted with a vape holder, flask holster, coke pocket, and automatic crotch mister connected to a colostomy bag filled with Diesel cologne.
I want to make a joke about how Beyonce probably shouldn’t expect Adele to repeat that tender moment on Grammys night since they’ll both be too busy shooting sharpened eye-daggers at each other every time one of the categories they’re nominated in comes up. But I highly doubt that’s how it’s going to go. The opposite of that will probably happen. They’ll probably spend the whole night trying to pawn their awards off on each other, because the muscles in their forearms are probably so exhausted from holding so many trophies over the years. “No, I insist – you go get this one. I’ve got far too many at home.”
All the nominations are here, but a lot are after the cut. If your name is Taylor Swift, you might want to skip the past the Best Rap/Sung Performance category unless you want rage by reading that Kanye West got a nomination for Famous.
Album of the Year
Adele, 25
Beyonce, Lemonade
Justin Bieber, Purpose
Drake, Views
Sturgill Simpson, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth
Song of the Year
Beyonce, “Formation”
Adele, “Hello”
Mike Posner, “I Took a Pill in Ibiza”
Justin Bieber, “Love Yourself”
Lukas Graham, “7 Years”
Record of the Year
Adele, “Hello”
Beyonce, “Formation”
Lukas Graham,”7 Years”
Rihanna feat. Drake, “Work”
21 Pilots, “Stressed Out”
Best New Artist
Kelsea Ballerini
The Chainsmokers
Chance the Rapper
Maren Morris
Anderson .Paak
Best Pop Solo Performance
Adele, “Hello”
Beyonce, “Hold Up”
Justin Bieber, “Love Yourself”
Kelly Clarkson, “Piece by Piece, Idol Version”
Ariana Grande, “Dangerous Woman”
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey, “Closer”
Lukas Graham, “7 Years”
Rihanna feat. Drake, “Work”
Sia feat. Sean Paul, “Cheap Thrills”
21 Pilots, “Stressed Out”
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Andrea Bocelli, Cinema
Bob Dylan, Fallen Angels
Josh Groban, Stages Live
Willie Nelson, Summertime: Willie Nelson Sings Gershwin
Barbra Streisand, Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway
Best Pop Vocal Album
Adele, 25
Justin Bieber, Purpose
Ariana Grande, Dangerous Woman
Demi Lovato, Confident
Sia, This Is Acting
Best Dance Recording
Bob Moses, “Tearing Me Up”
The Chainsmokers feat. Daya, “Don’t Let Me Down”
Flume feat. Kai, “Never Be Like You”
Riton feat. Kah-Lo, “Rinse & Repeat”
Sofi Tukker, “Drinkee”
Best Dance/Electronic Album
Flume, Skin
Jean-Michel Jarre, Electronica 1: The Time Machine
Tycho, Epoch
Underworld, Barbara Barbara, We Face A Shining Future
Louie Vega, Louie Vega Starring…XXVIII
Best Rap Performance
Chance The Rapper feat. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz, “No Problem”
Desiigner, “Panda”
Drake feat. The Throne, “Pop Style”
Fat Joe & Remy Ma feat. French Montana & Infared, “All The Way Up”
ScHoolboy Q feat. Kanye West, “That Part”
Best Rap/Sung Performance
Beyonce feat. Kendrick Lamar, “Freedom”
Drake, “Hotline Bling”
D.R.A.M. feat. Lil Yachty, “Broccoli”
Kanye West feat. Chance The Rapper, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin & The-Dream, “Ultralight Beam”
Kanye West feat. Rihanna, “Famous”
Best Rap Album
Chance The Rapper, Coloring Book
De La Soul, And The Anonymous Nobody
DJ Khaled, Major Key
Drake, Views
ScHoolboy Q, Blank Face LP
Kanye West, The Life Of Pablo
Best Rock Performance
Alabama Shakes, “Joe (Live From Austin City Limits)”
Beyoncé feat. Jack White, “Don’t Hurt Yourself”
David Bowie, “Blackstar”
Disturbed, “The Sound Of Silence (Live On Conan)”
Twenty One Pilots, “Heathens”
Best Rock Album
Blink-182, California
Cage The Elephant, Tell Me I’m Pretty
Gojira, Magma
Panic! At The Disco, Death Of A Bachelor
Weezer, Weezer
Best Alternative Album
Bon Iver, 22, A Million
David Bowie, Blackstar
PJ Harvey, The Hope Six Demolition Project
Iggy Pop, Post Pop Depression
Radiohead, A Moon Shaped Pool
Best Music Film
Steve Aoki, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead
The Beatles: Eight Days A Week The Touring Years
Beyonce, Lemonade
Yo-Yo Ma & The Silk Road Ensemble, The Music Of Strangers
American Saturday Night: Live From The Grand Ole Opry
Best Music Video
Beyonce, Formation
Leon Bridges, River
Coldplay, Up & Up
Jamie XX, Gosh
OK Go, Upside Down & Inside Out
Pic: Instagram