Beyonce Got A Lot Of Grammy Nominations

December 6, 2016 / Posted by:

The nominations for the 59th Grammy Awards were announced this morning, and to the shock of absolutely no one except maybe a Mormon granny who’s been on a quilting retreat for the past 12 months, both Beyonce and Adele got a lot of nominations. Beyonce got 9 and Adele got 5. Oh, and some other people got nominated for awards too. For example, human UTIs The Chainsmokers got a nomination for Best New Artist. The Grammys are in February, which means The Chainsmokers only have two months to get matching custom-made suits fitted with a vape holder, flask holster, coke pocket, and automatic crotch mister connected to a colostomy bag filled with Diesel cologne.

I want to make a joke about how Beyonce probably shouldn’t expect Adele to repeat that tender moment on Grammys night since they’ll both be too busy shooting sharpened eye-daggers at each other every time one of the categories they’re nominated in comes up. But I highly doubt that’s how it’s going to go.  The opposite of that will probably happen. They’ll probably spend the whole night trying to pawn their awards off on each other, because the muscles in their forearms are probably so exhausted from holding so many trophies over the years. “No, I insist – you go get this one. I’ve got far too many at home.

All the nominations are here, but a lot are after the cut. If your name is Taylor Swift, you might want to skip the past the Best Rap/Sung Performance category unless you want rage by reading that Kanye West got a nomination for Famous.

Album of the Year
Adele, 25
Beyonce, Lemonade
Justin Bieber, Purpose
Drake, Views
Sturgill Simpson, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth

Song of the Year
Beyonce, “Formation
Adele, “Hello
Mike Posner, “I Took a Pill in Ibiza
Justin Bieber, “Love Yourself
Lukas Graham, “7 Years

Record of the Year
Adele, “Hello
Beyonce, “Formation
Lukas Graham,”7 Years
Rihanna feat. Drake, “Work
21 Pilots, “Stressed Out

Best New Artist
Kelsea Ballerini
The Chainsmokers
Chance the Rapper
Maren Morris
Anderson .Paak

Best Pop Solo Performance
Adele, “Hello
Beyonce, “Hold Up
Justin Bieber, “Love Yourself
Kelly Clarkson, “Piece by Piece, Idol Version
Ariana Grande, “Dangerous Woman

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey, “Closer
Lukas Graham, “7 Years
Rihanna feat. Drake, “Work
Sia feat. Sean Paul, “Cheap Thrills
21 Pilots, “Stressed Out

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Andrea Bocelli, Cinema
Bob Dylan, Fallen Angels
Josh Groban, Stages Live
Willie Nelson, Summertime: Willie Nelson Sings Gershwin
Barbra Streisand, Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway

Best Pop Vocal Album
Adele, 25
Justin Bieber, Purpose
Ariana Grande, Dangerous Woman
Demi Lovato, Confident
Sia, This Is Acting

Best Dance Recording
Bob Moses, “Tearing Me Up
The Chainsmokers feat. Daya, “Don’t Let Me Down
Flume feat. Kai, “Never Be Like You
Riton feat. Kah-Lo, “Rinse & Repeat
Sofi Tukker, “Drinkee

Best Dance/Electronic Album
Flume, Skin
Jean-Michel Jarre, Electronica 1: The Time Machine
Tycho, Epoch
Underworld, Barbara Barbara, We Face A Shining Future
Louie Vega, Louie Vega Starring…XXVIII

Best Rap Performance
Chance The Rapper feat. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz, “No Problem
Desiigner, “Panda
Drake feat. The Throne, “Pop Style
Fat Joe & Remy Ma feat. French Montana & Infared, “All The Way Up
ScHoolboy Q feat. Kanye West, “That Part

Best Rap/Sung Performance
Beyonce feat. Kendrick Lamar, “Freedom
Drake, “Hotline Bling
D.R.A.M. feat. Lil Yachty, “Broccoli
Kanye West feat. Chance The Rapper, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin & The-Dream, “Ultralight Beam
Kanye West feat. Rihanna, “Famous

Best Rap Album
Chance The Rapper, Coloring Book
De La Soul, And The Anonymous Nobody
DJ Khaled, Major Key
Drake, Views
ScHoolboy Q, Blank Face LP
Kanye West, The Life Of Pablo

Best Rock Performance
Alabama Shakes, “Joe (Live From Austin City Limits)
Beyoncé feat. Jack White, “Don’t Hurt Yourself
David Bowie, “Blackstar
Disturbed, “The Sound Of Silence (Live On Conan)
Twenty One Pilots, “Heathens

Best Rock Album
Blink-182, California
Cage The Elephant, Tell Me I’m Pretty
Gojira, Magma
Panic! At The Disco, Death Of A Bachelor
Weezer, Weezer

Best Alternative Album
Bon Iver, 22, A Million
David Bowie, Blackstar
PJ Harvey, The Hope Six Demolition Project
Iggy Pop, Post Pop Depression
Radiohead, A Moon Shaped Pool

Best Music Film
Steve Aoki, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead
The Beatles: Eight Days A Week The Touring Years
Beyonce, Lemonade
Yo-Yo Ma & The Silk Road Ensemble, The Music Of Strangers
American Saturday Night: Live From The Grand Ole Opry

Best Music Video
Beyonce, Formation
Leon Bridges, River
Coldplay, Up & Up
Jamie XX, Gosh
OK Go, Upside Down & Inside Out

Pic: Instagram

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