Open Post: Hosted By Ariana Grande Latte Shutting Down Ryan Seacrest

September 15, 2016 / Posted by:

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned by actually liking something done by the donut-murdering girl Damien.

Ariana Grande Latte did an interview with Ryan Seacrest for On Air with Ryan Seacrest (via HuffPo) yesterday, and the Labyrinth Goblin (I’m talking about Ryan, not Ariana) brought up a picture she posted on Instagram. Ariana posted a picture of her own personal KFed named Mac Miller trying to motorboat her chest as she pooted out a Bratz doll fart onto him. (That’s what I’m seeing in the pic anyway.) Ryan said that the picture was a confirmation that Ariana and Mac Miller are together, and she wasn’t having him poking at her personal life.

The Micro Machine Mariah Carey didn’t exactly deliver Mimi-levels of shade, but she did check a bitch. Ariana is the one who made that picture public by posting it and Ryan is just doing his job as one of the┬ámost serious┬ájournalists of our time, but I am always for someone scraping a layer of porcelain off of his veneers.

It’s like Chicken Little v. Chicken Little-er.

Ryan puffed his chest a bit, but in the end, he knew to stand down, because there was no nearby adult for him to hide behind if Ariana got up.

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