Comedian Doug Stanhope Claims Amber Heard Is “Blackmailing” His Friend Johnny Depp

Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp’s first wife, his daughter and many others including his ex-girlfriend Sherilyn Fenn have defended him and said that they know him to be a gentle daisy petal who would never even harm the gnats that feed off of the grease balls clinging to his armpit hairs. Some of them pretty much called Amber Heard a liar, and now one of Johnny’s friends, a comedian named Doug Stanhope, isn’t only calling her a liar, he’s accusing her of being the abusive one in her marriage and being a real-life Gone Girl. If you had to work this Memorial Day weekend, don’t feel so alone, because Johnny’s PR team did too and they worked damn hard.

The Wrap published an essay from Doug who starts off by saying that he couldn’t just stand to the side and watch his friend get shit on in the media. In the 80s and 90s, Johnny was arrested several times for doing shit like trashing a hotel room and attacking a security guard during a fight, but Doug would like everyone to know that today his friend is as sweet and innocent as a virgin ladybug. Doug writes that ole’ innocent Johnny was manipulated and threatened by a blond demon named Amber Heard.

Doug says that even before Johnny and Amber got married, she manipulated and fucked with him. As everyone knows, Amber filed for divorce from Johnny two days after he allegedly threw an iPhone at her during a fight. Amber got a restraining order against Johnny. Several of Amber’s friends claim they were there and watched it go down. Amber also said in court documents that Johnny’s security watched him attack her and did nothing. Now Doug claims that he was there before the alleged iPhone beating. Doug says that he and his girlfriend Bingo spent time with Johnny before Amber says she was attacked. Doug says that Johnny told them that Amber was planning to divorce his ass and threatened to ruin him if he didn’t give her what she wants.

Bingo and I were at Johnny’s house for most of that Saturday until just before the alleged assault. We assumed initially that his dour mood was because of his mother’s death the day before. But he opened up in the most vulnerable of ways that it was not only his mother, but that Amber was now going to leave him, threatening to lie about him publicly in any and every possible duplicitous way if he didn’t agree to her terms. Blackmail is what I would imagine other people might put it, including the manner in which he is now being vilified.

Doug goes on to say that many in Johnny’s circle of friends thought Amber was bad news, but they didn’t tell their friend, because they didn’t want him to banish them out of his life. Doug, Bingo and Johnny’s other friends told them their real feelings about Amber that day. Johnny said that he still loves Amber, but he knew that she was going to fuck with him in some way.

He hadn’t slept in days with anxiety.

You’d call him a paranoid if you didn’t know better.

But he knew better and he was right.

As he finally felt like he could sleep, we left him. From what we now read in the news, later that night the police were called to his house for a domestic dispute. Finding no criminal act had occurred and no signs of physical abuse, the police left.

Everything Johnny had told us that she’d been threatening had actually come to be. It blew up in the news, raced through the Internet like a plague and blew up on Twitter like it was the McMartin child abuse scandal. People are swarming with torches on social media.

Doug ends by saying that Johnny is not an abuser at all and he’s the real victim:

But any one of my friends will tell you I always call them out on bulls—. Abusing women is bulls—. Johnny doesn’t abuse anyone. And he told me that day ahead of time that she’d pull some kind of s— like this.

Johnny Depp got used, manipulated, set up and made to look like an a–hole. And he saw it coming and didn’t or couldn’t do anything to stop it.

He may never talk to me again for saying it but I’d never forgive myself for not coming to his defense out of fear or ego.

I covered a lot of Doug Stanhope’s piece, but you can read all of it here. TMZ also has a story today about how Amber supposedly didn’t tell the cops that Johnny attacked her when they showed up to her house that Saturday night. It was originally reported that a police report was made, but now TMZ is saying that no report was filed because Amber didn’t want to at the time. No police report has since  been filed.

Just when I’m starting to think that this entire situation has reached peak ugly and it can’t get messier, another layer of messiness is added to it. Doug didn’t respond to Amber’s claim that Johnny Depp is pretty much always wasted on booze and the bad shit, and I have a lot of questions after reading his essay. But the biggest question I have is: Doug’s girlfriend’s name is Bingo?! Bingo is her name-o?

And here’s Johnny performing with the Hollywood Vampires in Portugal on Friday night:

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com