Hello Kitty’s human ambassador was on Watch What Happens Live last night, and she showed up late and made Andy Cohen switch chairs because she wanted the camera to get her good side, dahling. The diva had landed.
On WWHL last night, Mariah Carey didn’t have anything nice to say about her nemesis Nicki Minaj, she said that she and billionaire Shrek will sign a prenup before they get hitched and she got into the “I Don’t Know Her” meme that will never die and will long live forever. (Side note: I’m surprised the Bernie Bros. haven’t started an #IDontKnowHer campaign about Hillary Clinton.) When JLo was on WWHL in March, she made it sound like there’s zero drama between them. On last night’s episode, the shifty Siamese Cat once again asked the Diva’dley Lion if she knows “her” and no, Mimi still doesn’t know “her.”
When Andy said that JLo told him that Mimi knows her, the Queen of the Lisa Frank Unicorns gave an answer that was straight out of a junior high school guidance counselor’s session between two girls who were brought into the office for spreading rumors about each other:
“I’m very forgetful. Apparently, I’m forgetful. Because I don’t remember the fact that it was just like, ‘Hi, I’m so and so,’ and then move on, and then like, ‘Hiiii,’ and that’s it. If I had never had a conversation with you and someone asked me about you, ‘I’d be like, ‘I don’t know him but he seems cool,’ or ‘I don’t him.'”
And when Andy asked if she thinks JLo’s cool, she went on:
“I don’t know her! Like what am I supposed to? I’m not going to put on a thing like, ‘Ooooh, we’re all Hollywood and let’s just all pretend we’re best friends because we’re all in that land.’ It’s no offense to anybody. The question was about Beyonce. I was saying she’s super talented, she’s a friend of mine, she’s always been sweet to me, she’s always been very cool. And then they asked me another question and I was just like, ‘I don’t know her.’ It wasn’t like, I don’t know who she is. Of course I do! That wasn’t the question.”
Mimi is forever a two-faced 12-year-old bitchy mean girl trapped in the body of a grown woman who constantly dresses like a swinging cougar in a Casual Encounters ad on Craigslist, and I love it. But since potent cynicism forevers runs through my veins, a big part of me thinks that Mimi and JLo’s feud has been one long stunt that will eventually lead up to a duet between them called “I Don’t Know Her/You Know Me.” And the “her” that nobody really knows, Rita Ora, should trademark the phrase “I Don’t Know Her,” because at least she’d get some coins every time Mimi said it.
And here’s the shady butterfly spreading cheese on the camera lenses while posing for the paps in NYC this morning: