Dakota Johnson Is Pretty Much Over Those “Fifty Shades” Sex Scenes

April 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Who knew that Dakota Johnson could give such FACE while straddling the upholstered arm of a chair? I don’t know what kind of magic that chair is working between her thighs, but that’s more horny-eyed emotion than she gave in all 125 minutes of Fifty Shades of Grey combined.

Dakota spoke to Chrissie Hynde for Interview magazine. Dakota is currently in Vancouver shooting both Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, because they’ve gotta bang those out fast before Jamie Dornan discovers a loophole in his contract and runs away like Forrest Gump. When Dakota tells Chrissie that she’s in Vancouver to film the Fifty Shades sequels, Chrissie asked: “The one where you have crazy sex scenes?” Yes Chrissie, those movies. Dakota admitted that she was filming a sex scene that day, and apparently pretending to have sex with someone is about as fun as waking up early on a Saturday and cleaning out your crawl space.

“Yeah. I’m doing one today. [laughs] It’s not … comfortable. It’s pretty tedious.”

Chrissie then asked her if they’re faking the sex for the camera or actually doing it, and Dakota replied:

“Well, we’re not having actual sex. But I’ve been simulating sex for seven hours straight right now, and I’m over it.”

I don’t know what my brain wants to focus on more: the image of a vacant-in-the-eyes Dakota Johnson thinking about whether or not she should replace the rug in her living room while Jamie Dornan thrusts on top of her, or Chrissie Hynde wondering if all sex scenes are fake. “I dunno, I’m pretty sure I saw that one puppet insert his penis in the other puppet’s vagina during that sex scene in Team America.

Dakota also talked about remaining ~mysterious~ and not letting too many people know who Dakota Johnson really is.

“I mean, I have such an obsession with making movies that I probably will always do that. But sometimes my life can feel so suffocating, and then it can feel so massive, like I don’t have a handle on it at all, and I don’t know where it’s going or what I’m going to do. Right now, I’m known for making movies. And I wonder if that’s it. I don’t know.”

So let me get this straight. Dakota Johnson is “obsessed” with making movies…except when she’s been making them for seven hours straight, at which point, she’s totally “over it.” I think I know what’s happening here. It’s obviously not Dakota’s fault; it’s whoever she’s acting opposite of that is boring her. For example, Dakota doesn’t look totally bored with that chair in the picture above. You know, if the producers want to spice up any of Dakota’s Fifty Shades sex scenes – and they probably will –  they might want to consider replacing Jamie Dornan’s body with that chair.

You can read the rest of Dakota interview with Chrissie here. But if you’d rather skip right to the pictures, here’s Dakota doing her ~mysterious~ actress best in Interview. Clearly Dakota doesn’t get turned on by all types of furniture, because she looks bored to death on both that mattress and that window seat.

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