Here’s the love birds at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party this past Sunday. Jerry’s chichis look magnificent. Being almost-married to a billionaire is doing wonders for them. Although, her chichis do kind of look like twin Rupert Murdoch heads. Why did I go and ruin it by saying that?
Everyone’s faith in pure organic love was restored in January when 59-year-old Jerry Hall and evil billionaire mogul 84-year-old Rupert Murdoch announced that they got engaged after 4 months of being together. We all figured that these two would have one of those long engagements and spend the next couple of years planning their perfect wedding. We also figured that Jerry Hall wouldn’t worry about making it legal right away and would just enjoy Rupert’s body pounding against her before busts a load of cum dust up into her. But these two are in a rush to become husband and wife. Reuters says that Jerry will become Rupert’s fourth wife and Rupert will become Jerry’s first husband at St. Bride’s Church in London this Saturday. They have already invited 150 guests. The marriage service will happen at St. Bride’s and the ceremony will be somewhere else.
“He will be having a service to celebrate the marriage,” Claire Seaton from St Bride’s told Reuters. She said the actual wedding ceremony would take place elsewhere.
If you’re hearing the repeated sound of a cocking of a gun (I said cocking of a gun), because you think this is a SHOT GUN situation (Ha. I wish!), then you’re mistaken. That sound you hear is the sound of a clock ticking away, because Rupert is 84 years old and Jerry is wasting no damn time. The last time Jerry got “married” was to Mick Jagger and the marriage was later declared null and void by the court because their ceremony wasn’t official. So when Jerry gets married to Australian Mr. Burns on Saturday, she better have a team of lawyers and Judge Fucking Judy at her side to make her it’s 100% valid.