Liberty Ross, the woman whose ex-husband’s mouth got caught on Kristen Stewart’s pussy box, became a gold digging saint and goddess to aspiring trophy wives and husbands last week when she married almost-billionaire entertainment mogul Jimmy Iovine. Liberty and Jimmy had two weddings: one was a casual ceremony with close friends and family on the beach and the other one was where he really showed everyone that he shits gold bars and diamonds. It was a Valentine’s Day extravaganza that brought out Oprah, Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Paul McCartney, Ellen DeGeneres and pretty much everybody else that was at the damn Grammys.
I’ve been waiting to see what Liberty Ross wore, because I was hoping that she’d really bring the lavishness by wearing a dress made of $100 bills encrusted with diamonds and bits of pure gold. But instead, Liberty went for something more subdued and demure by looking like a bootleg Day of the Dead bride who fell into a Christmas tree ornament display at Hot Topic. Based on that picture, it looks like her ensemble was put together using scraps from a JoAnn’s and shit found in the clearance section of a Party City, but of course it wasn’t. via UsWeekly
Instead of wearing classic white or red like her guests, the bride opted for a dark navy and black vintage Givenchy gown and an enormous, jaw-dropping headpiece created by milliner Stephen Jones.
But who cares if she’s dressed like the Corpse Bride at a funeral, she married an almost-billionaire! An almost-billionaire who made b-holes pucker by doing himself up like Barry Manilow’s standby piano player, might I add.