Open Post: Hosted By Liberty Ross’ Goth Christmas Tree Of A Wedding Dress

Liberty Ross, the woman whose ex-husband’s mouth got caught on Kristen Stewart’s pussy box, became a gold digging saint and goddess to aspiring trophy wives and husbands last week when she married almost-billionaire entertainment mogul Jimmy Iovine. Liberty and Jimmy had two weddings: one was a casual ceremony with close friends and family on the beach and the other one was where he really showed everyone that he shits gold bars and diamonds. It was a Valentine’s Day extravaganza that brought out Oprah, Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Paul McCartney, Ellen DeGeneres and pretty much everybody else that was at the damn Grammys.

I’ve been waiting to see what Liberty Ross wore, because I was hoping that she’d really bring the lavishness by wearing a dress made of $100 bills encrusted with diamonds and bits of pure gold. But instead, Liberty went for something more subdued and demure by looking like a bootleg Day of the Dead bride who fell into a Christmas tree ornament display at Hot Topic. Based on that picture, it looks like her ensemble was put together using scraps from a JoAnn’s and shit found in the clearance section of a Party City, but of course it wasn’t. via UsWeekly

Instead of wearing classic white or red like her guests, the bride opted for a dark navy and black vintage Givenchy gown and an enormous, jaw-dropping headpiece created by milliner Stephen Jones.

But who cares if she’s dressed like the Corpse Bride at a funeral, she married an almost-billionaire!  An almost-billionaire who made b-holes pucker by doing himself up like Barry Manilow’s standby piano player, might I add.

Pic: UsWeekly

Liberty Ross And Jimmy Iovine Got Married

It was a little over three years ago when Liberty Ross filed for divorce from director Rupert Sanders after he got caught munching on Kristen Stewart’s twat in a Mini Cooper. After the paps caught Rupert taking his tongue to Kristen Stewart’s pussy town in her Mini Cooper, Liberty tried to make it work with him for the sake of their children, but they eventually got divorced. Well, those sad days are long, long behind Liberty and I’m sure she barely thought of that bad time in her life as sparkling dollar signs, I mean, sparkling hearts filled her eyes when she married almost-billionaire turtle Jimmy Iovine over the weekend.

The Daily Mail has pictures of 37-year-old Liberty marrying 62-year-old music mogul Jimmy Iovine on a beach in Malibu on Saturday afternoon. It was just a casual ceremony and at one point, a sky writer messed up by writing “J Heart M” instead of “J Heart L.” Liberty could have taken that as a bad omen, but she laughed it off, because who cares. Bitch is beyond rich now. The beach wedding was just for their close family and friends. Yesterday, on Valentine’s Day, they went all out by throwing a party at David Geffen’s mansion.

Since everyone is in L.A. for the Grammys tonight, everyone was at Jimmy and Liberty’s wedding party. The 300 guests included: Oprah, her boo Stedman Graham, her other boo Gayle King, Pharrell Williams, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi, Eminem, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Brian Grazer, Paul McCartney, Rupert Murdoch, Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton, Stevie Nicks, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz. Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett and Mary J. Blige performed at the reception. All of them women were also told to wear red since it was VD.

That wedding sounds like what a gold digger dreams of when she closes her eyes at night. Not only did Liberty Ross marry a guy who is worth around $970 million, but the reception was filled with so many rich bitches. I bet that instead of the guests pinning dollars to her dress during the money dance, they swiped their black AMEX on a credit card machine strapped to her dress. And I also bet that during the reception, Liberty raised a glass and said, “Thank you to Kristen Stewart’s pussy, because if it wasn’t for my asshole ex licking on you in a Mini Cooper, I may not have upgraded and been living a lavish life today. To KStew’s snatch!”

And here’s riveting pictures of David Geffen’s twink toy lair and pictures of guests in cars.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com