Who Is Hot Slut Of 2015: Round 3

January 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Well, well, well, another animal won a round in the Hot Slut of the Year showdown. Although, part of me thinks that Roger the Buff Kangaroo is really The Situation from Jersey Shore  in a kangaroo costume. It would make sense if he skipped out of the US to escape his tax shit and ran off to Australia to reinvent himself as a buff kangaroo. (Side note: I can’t believe I wrote the words “The Situation from Jersey Shore” in the year 2016)

Roger the Buff Kangaroo won round 2 of the Hot Slut of the Year contest with 42% of your votes. I wouldn’t be surprised if 41.9999% of the votes came from my friend (whose name I am not going to name) using a different IP. When I first posted about Roger the Buff Kangaroo, she said to me, “Do you think he’s kind of hot, hot, like for real?” Don’t worry, I reported her to the proper authorities. Roger the Buff Kangaroo is going on to battle it out against The DGAF Pussy in the finals. And now it’s time to vote for who will face those two. Will be it another animal? Will it be a human? Will it be chonies? Who knows! (SPOILER ALERT: It’ll be another animal. Animals win everything.)

Your choices for round 3 are:

September’s HSOTM: Eugene Bostick! Eugene became Texas’s Saint of Dogs when he and his brother began rescuing dogs that were abandoned near his property by shit-hearted assholes. Eugene and his brothers have way too many dogs to walk, so he built a train for them to ride in. A few times a week, he rides his doggy train around town. He’s the best thing to happen to Texas since Morgan Fairchild!

October’s HSOTM: The Kayak-Eating Bear of Alaska! While on a solo kayak trip in Alaska, one woman came across a black bear in the front of the house she was renting. She decided that it would be a really good idea to pepper pray that trick in the face. The bear got her ass back by eating her kayak. Revenge is a kayak-eating bear.

November’s HSOTM: The Golden Girls Granny Panties! An Etsy seller realized that the world of chonies was missing a set of panties with the faces of the Golden Girls on them, so she created them. What more needs to be said, except that I’m wearing Dorothy’s face on my crotch right now. I wish.

December’s HSOTM: Gary Fisher! Gary Fisher is Carrie Fisher’s way more famous dog who is always perfectly expressing our thoughts about nearly everything with his “fuck this” face.

Voting is below. The third Hot Slut of the Year finalist will be announced on Friday!


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