The Kayak-Eating Bear Of Alaska Is October’s Hot Slut Of The Month!
It was a battle to death between the kayak-eating bear of Alaska and The Glamour Goddess of the World Series, but this time around, revenge trumped potent glamour.
The bear who ate a woman’s kayak after getting pepper sprayed won the title of Hot Slut of October. That bear got 30% of your votes. I’m sure our new HSOTM overlord would give a thank you speech if it could, but it’s probably busy getting revenge on another human by eating their kayak and also, it’s a bear. Bears can’t give speeches. The Glamour Goddess of the World Series was right on that bear’s ass with 29% of the votes. Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt was third with 25% and in dead last was Opal Covey with 16%. If Opal Covey knew or cared about this injustice, she’d destroy this site. But then again, this site is already broke down, so joke’s on her.
Thanks to everyone who voted! And now I leave with the original video of the kayak-eating bear in action. Thanks to the Internet, the kayaker raised enough money to fix her kayak. I’m sure her arch rival, the bear, is in Alaska patiently waiting for her return so it can fuck with her kayak again.