Less than two weeks ago, Bradley Cooper was seen mouth humping on Suki Waterhouse at Coachella, but the on-again portion of their on-again off-again relationship might actually be the off-again again, because Page Six is saying that on Wednesday night he was spotted on a date with Cristiano Ronaldo’s former piece and slutty couture enthusiast Irina Shayk. Damn, Bradley Cooper works fast! (“Yeah…Bradley Cooper…” thinks Bradley Cooper’s PR people).
A “source” says Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers (never forget) and Irina know each other through mutual friends, and have been hanging out for about a week. Last night they went to see Finding Neverland on Broadway. The source doesn’t say, but I choose to believe they also made their butt holes beg for mercy by having dinner at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, because a Broadway date isn’t a Broadway date unless you spend 2/3 of the show uncomfortably shifting around in your seat trying to hold in a fart.
Irina Shayk is a perfect match for Bradley Cooper: she’s 29-years-old (under 30 – check), a Sports Illustrated model (model – check), and she dated Cristiano Ronaldo for 5 years (minimum 3 years on-the-job experience with mirror-obsessed pretty boys – check).
The only problem is that hair; IT’S TOO GORGEOUS. You know Bradley Cooper is the type who has to have the best hair in the relationship (which might explain why Suki always looked like a bunch of teenage rats had a slumber party in hers), so I’m not sure I see this ending well. Maybe they’ll work something out during contract negotiations, like a serum ban or something.
And speaking of Broadway, here’s Bradley Cooper strolling around NYC with Broadway superstar Sienna Miller on Tuesday.