Don’t Cry For Biebs, Argentina

April 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Cry tears of joy for yourself, Argentina, because there’s a warrant out for Justin Bieber’s arrest in your country and so he may never go back again. You’re the luckiest country in the world! Let’s all pack up our shit, learn the lyrics to “Buenos Aires” so we can sing it when we get off the train and head to Ar-hen-tina! Argentina is the new Biebs-free wonderland!

While the caca clump clinging to North America’s longest ass hair and Kendull Jenner are making Coachella even more insufferable than it already is, a judge in Argentina has issued a warrant for his arrest. The minute Justin Bieber steps into Argentina, he’ll be arrested. In 2013, the Biebs and one of his bodyguards allegedly attacked a paparazzo outside of a club in Buenos Aires. The Biebs and his bodyguard left Argentina before police were able to question them. Last November, a judge ordered him to go back to Buenos Aires to face questioning. But since he’s the baddest rebel on the Montessori school playground, ain’t no country going to boss him around. The Biebs didn’t go back, so an arrest warrant has been thrown down. via Reuters

Entertainment website FarandulaShow ( posted a copy of the court ruling ordering Bieber be detained on its web page. Court secretary Soledad Nieto, a co-signatory of the order paper, confirmed the document was authentic.

“I consider it pertinent to order the immediate detention of the accused,” read Judge Alberto Julio Banos’ order, which is dated April 8.

The court also ordered the detention of one of Bieber’s bodyguards.

Argentina definitely has the right idea and every country on this planet should follow their lead. I’m sure every country the Biebs has visited can find a reason to issue an arrest warrant on his ass (possible reasons: being Justin Bieber, noise pollution, etc…) and if they did he’d run out of places to hide. He’d have to take his ass to Antarctica. No, that wouldn’t be nice. The polar bears already have global warming to deal with. They don’t need to deal with global douching too.

Here’s the escandalo (the video headline writer’s word, not mine) video of the Biebs’ bodyguard smearing that pap in 2013.

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