Brody Jenner Went To Reggie Bush’s Wedding After Skipping Kim Kardashian’s Pre-Divorce Ceremony Last Month
Brody Jenner wasn’t in Italy when Lucifer’s most-prized hooker whore Kim Kartrashian married the Illuminati joker Kanye West in front of a wall of moldy cauliflower covered in yeast infection sauce last month, because he said he had already booked a DJ gig in Chicago and had to work. That excuse was hilarious, because: a) Brody Jenner is acting like he works and; b) Somebody paid Brody Jenner to hit the shuffle icon on an iTunes playlist. But at the time, “sources” said that Brody didn’t go to Kim’s latest wedding, because Kim and Kanye are shameless fame whore demons who didn’t give an invitation to Brody’s girlfriend but did give an invitation to the likes of Jaden Smith. Besides, Brody figured that once you’ve dry heaved and rolled your eyes at one fake Kim Kuntrashian wedding, you’ve dry heaved and rolled your eyes at all of them. Well, cut to one month later, when Brody threw up a picture on his Instagram of him and his girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter smiling at Reggie Bush’s wedding in San Diego, CA yesterday. The beautiful shade of it all.
People says that Reggie Bush married Lilit Avagyan, a professional dancer and a Kim Kardashian wax figure made out of parts discarded from a factory-defected OctoMom wax figure, at the Grand Del Mar Resort in San Diego. Lilit and Reggie started rubbing their nipples together three years ago and 14 months ago she gave birth to their daughter Briseis. The groom wore way too many clothes and the bride wore a stunningly exquisite mermaid gown that accentuated her suffocating exercise ball titties and made her look like a Reno, NV stripper turned third tier mob wife on her wedding day circa 1987.
Brody Jenner is a Summer’s Eve bottle in a curly mop and he’s never been accused of making good decisions (see: the tattoo of his last name in modern douche font), but he has redeemed himself by going to the wedding of his stepsister’s ex-boyfriend and a more elegant and natural version of her. The only way this could be better is if Annie Leibovitz took that Instagram picture. And any thing that makes Pimp Mama Kris take a moment from siphoning the innocence out of a newborn baby to scream and rage is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Here’s that Lilit trick taking her smushed chichis for a walk in Beverly Hills the other day.