Shia LaBeouf Is Not In Rehab

July 1, 2014 / Posted by:

Yesterday, X17 said that Times Square is safe for now, because Shia LaBeouf checked into rehab and wouldn’t be able to screw with homeless dudes and a half-naked Alan Cumming anymore. But Times Square is still on high alert, because Shia didn’t check into rehab at all. Shia’s rep tells TMZ that he’s not drying out in rehab, but is getting help for his addiction to booze. Shia has been seen carrying around the AA Big Book and his rep says that he’s going through the 12 steps and I really hope he’s not taking those 12 steps while dressed like a grandpa who put on his granddaughter’s UGGs to get the paper.

Shia’s rep tells us … reports that he entered a rehab facility are bogus. She says his bizarre conduct over the last few months is symptomatic of a larger health issue — alcohol addiction — and he understands it.

It sounds like Shia is in a 12-step program. The rep says “he has taken the first of many necessary steps toward recovery.”

There really needs to be 13 steps and that 13th step needs to be: “If you have any UGGs or CROCs in your closet, pull them out, torch them in a steel trash bin out back, put the ashes in a metal coffee can full of rocks and drop that coffee can in the deepest lake you can find and never speak of those UGGs or CROCs again.” Because Shia’s man UGGs are part of the problem.

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