“Why is that flying Kraken carrying a baby in a blanket in its mouth and why is it flying toward Los Angeles?”
Morrissey’s favorite family (sans Prince Philip who’s laid up in a hospital bed) all sprayed their crotches with their finest smelling perfume and put on their fanciest daytime ensembles to celebrate the birthday of the British sovereign at the Trooping the Colour Parade in London today. The parade is also known as THE QUEEN’S Birthday Parade. THE QUEEN’S 72nd annual quinceañera (aka 87th birthday) was actually in April, but she’s THE QUEEN! She can have as many birthday celebration as she wants! (Cut to Morrissey’s anal glands exploding rage juice.) After the parade, the royal family and Camilla all got on the balcony and waved at their subjects. Then afterward, they all went down into the rec room of Buckingham Palace to get drunk on gin from Bargain Booze as Prince Hot Ginge played naked billiards with himself in the corner. Just like my abuelita did at her birthday parties, THE QUEEN cut herself a corner piece of sheet cake and went to her room to watch her stories by herself in peace.
The Daily Mail says that Duchess Kate made her last public appearance before she births out Queen Harryetta Diana (or King Harry Di if it’s a boy). Yes, THIS is what Duchess Kate chose to wear to her last public appearance. That ugly hat looks like it’s shitting out a bunch of pink ribbons. It’s like an Easter nightmare exploded all of her body. How dreadful. And I kind of hope Duchess Kate gives birth in the next couple of days and I hope her baby has a full head of ginger locks and really loves vodka. Because that would mean that Prince Hot Ginge is the father, which would mean that Kate’s face and his face would be on the cover of every magazine instead of Kim’s face. We deserve that.
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The royal family at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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The royal family at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG side-eyeing and smirking at a hot trick at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Camilla and PHG at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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THE QUEEN at her Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Camilla and Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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THE QUEEN greeting her bitches her Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Camilla and Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Do I really want to know where that finger has been and do I really want to know why she’s smelling it?
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Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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He’s tugging it real quick, right?
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The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Camilla, Duchess Kate and Princess Eugenie at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG, Duchess Kate and Prince William at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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The royal family at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG, Camilla and Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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PHG, Camilla and Duchess Kate at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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“Girl, I’m not going to pull your finger. My nostrils haven’t recovered from the last time I did.”
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THE QUEEN at her Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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Prince Charles at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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THE QUEEN and her pocketbook at her Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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The royal family at The Queen’s Birthday Parade in London June 15, 2013
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