And Here’s Reese Witherspoon’s Most Hilarious Performance Ever

May 2, 2013 / Posted by:

To sort of quote Reese Witherspoon in this dashboard cam video from the night she was arrested for being a drunken, annoying twat, “This is beyond BEYOND….HILARIOUS!” 

The footage from the dashboard cab of Reese and her husband Jim Toth getting arrested magically landed in TMZ’s lap and they posted three videos of her shouting out priceless lines like, “I am an American citzen!” and “You’re about to find out who I am!” THIS TRASHY BITCH pulling rank! Who the hell does she think she is? Randy from South Park?

The cherry on top of this drunken, red wine-infused sundae is Jim, standing there all quiet-like, wishing he had the power to disappear. Then Jim delivers the real punchline: “I had nothing to do with that.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

These two drunk messes should take their act on the road. Only neither of them should drive. Jim seems like the type who speaks a maximum of 20 words a day and he uses seven words daily to say “I had nothing to do with that” to everybody that Reese is bitchy to.

And here’s Reese telling the cop that she needs to use the bathroom, because she’s knocked up. I guess we now know that when Laura Jeanne Poon gets drunk, her twang comes out.

And finally, here’s Jim trying to blow blow blow blow blow blow for the cop.

If Reese and Jim would’ve put their heads together and blown blown blown blown blown the cop, they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

Jim pleaded guilty to DUI today and Reese pleaded no contest. Jim won’t go to jail, but he will have to perform 40 hours of community service. Reese has to pay a $213 fine and that’s it. I was going to say that now that night is behind them, but that’s not completely true, because these beautiful videos will live on forever and beyond.

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