Dear VS Models, Lena Dunham Doesn’t Want To Have A Body Like Yours

March 14, 2013 / Posted by:

Anybody who has seen five seconds of Girls knows that Lena Dunham is one hundred percent comfortable with every inch of her body (or bitch knows how to fake it well), because she shows every nook and cranny on almost every episode. I now know what Lena Dunham looks like when she scratches her ass. Lena is so okay with her own body that she tells Playboy she wouldn’t like life very much if she suddenly woke up looking like Leonardo DiCaprio’s next piece. Prepare your eyes for rolling….

Playboy: If you woke up tomorrow in the body of a Victoria’s Secret model, what would you do for the rest of the day?

Dunham: I’d be really disoriented and wonder what had happened in the night. Which enemy had dragged me to the doctor? I don’t think I’d like it very much. There would be all kinds of weird challenges to deal with that I don’t have to deal with now. I don’t want to go through life wondering if people are talking to me because I have a big rack. Not being the babest person in the world creates a nice barrier. The people who talk to you are the people who are interested in you. It must be a big burden in some ways to look that way and be in public. That said, I probably would want to see if I could get free food at restaurants. Then I’d call a doctor and see if she could return me to my former situation.

And just like that, Samantha “It’s Hard Being Beautiful” Brick became Lena Dunham’s biggest fan.

First of all, bitch is telling lies. Second of all, I’m sure some people only talk to her, because they want to get on Girls. Third of all, restaurants won’t give you free food if you look like a VS model, because they know your ass won’t eat it. Fourth of all, if I woke up tomorrow looking like Alexander Skarsgard, you bitches wouldn’t hear from me for a while, because I’d be too busy humping on other hot people who are only humping on me because I’m hot.

But really, beautiful people say that it’s hard being beautiful. Ugly people say that it’s hard being ugly. Classy people say that it’s hard being classy. Rich people say that it’s hard being rich. Poor people say that it’s hard being poor (they’re right). Crazy people say that it’s hard being crazy. Can’t we all just agree that it’s hard being a person. We all have it hard, okay?! Well, except for Angelyne. That bitch has a perfect life in every way.

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