Bitch Got Fired: The Elisabeth Hasselback Edition
Memaw Barbara Walters has finally taken her broom and swept Elisabeth Hasselcrack out the front door after 10 years. Yesterday, Joy Behar announced that she's pulling her ass off the second chair at The View after 16 and-a-half years, because sometimes getting paid millions of dollars to do the easiest job ever gets boring. Today, both Deadline and UsWeekly say that Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri "The German" Shepherd and Memaw Walters can finally pull the plugs out of their ears, because Elisabeth Hasselcrack's shrieking yammering will no longer be heard on The View. Elisabeth is following Joy right out the door.
Even though a spokeswhore for The View denies that Elisabeth has been given a pink slip, UsWeekly is hearing that she was dumped after test audiences said that watching a foreskin cleaning would be more pleasant than watching her. One source said:
"The viewers they polled all said she was too extreme and right wing. People did not watch the show because of Elisabeth. So they told her yesterday her contract would not be renewed."
Did they poll a bunch of people who just woke up from being in a coma for over 10 years? How did they just figure this out? But whatever, what's Barbara's trash is Fox News' newest treasure!
And here's my choices for Hasselcrack's replacement:
1. Ann Coulter, because I really want to see Whoopi lunge at her from across the table. I mean, we've all been waiting for a battle between Guinan and a malnourished Klingon.
2. Michele Bachmann, because she'd just mindlessly gaze at the camera and eventually all the other co-hosts would use her to lay their coats on the same way you use the treadmill in your bedroom to hang your coat on.
3. Callista Gingrich's hair.
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With Hasselbeck, Palin, and Coulter as your sirens... no, that's not a rock, it's a port!
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sun, 03/10/2013 - 3:23pm.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 10:51am.
<"And to echo the sentiments of other Dlisters....why would people who worship Coulter EVER fucking be on Dlisted?????">
Gee, maybe because Dlisted isn't a politics site
glad to see you've figured that out, Doc! so then i guess we won't be seeing any more of your gratuitous, self limited reach around, off topic shots against the Obama Administration?
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And those who are in the political minority here salute you Doc because you are obviously a "real" professional who has made and navigated his way in an increasingly difficult profession made almost impossible by government mandates and the disastrous Obama Care that may hinder or ruin your practice.
He has every right to express his feelings about any subject that comes up here especially since he is a long-time poster.
Keep up the good work Doc!
"How about a conservative Muslim, a Reformist Jew, a Christian Latina, a Buddhist African American, and an Atheist Anglo."
LaChaylo do you know that they are all the same damn person?
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A good pimp never tells.-M.K.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 10:51am.
<"And to echo the sentiments of other Dlisters....why would people who worship Coulter EVER fucking be on Dlisted?????">
Gee, maybe because Dlisted isn't a politics site
glad to see you've figured that out, Doc! so then i guess we won't be seeing any more of your gratuitous, self limited reach around, off topic shots against the Obama Administration?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Gem
Unless your father did a Larry King, you are probably older than I am.
There isnt an age limit to appreciate the brilliance of Ann Coulter, just a limit on the capacity of one's intelligence to appreciate her wisdom.
wow, someone responded to my post - how EXCITING (lol)...
Dear Osake and PFK: ferk you!
P.S. I love & respect my dad, take care of him damn near every day (did you not see he is in a nursing home)?
P.S.S. I'm glad we live in a country where we can all express our opinions...and I think it's cute that you guys are all so in love with Ann Coulter! BTW, don't forget to take your Metamucil before you go down for your naps today...xxx
Submitted by Lacie Panties on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 11:43pm.
I totally belieb you. Syntax to me is the same as a fingerprint and yours is different. Your name and avie threw me and I'll admit I never looked much further.
@Rande
LOL. Don't let poor spelling hold you back: the blogger can't spell. I always assumed you were another alt of someone who posts here a lot and causes or begets trouble, so I stayed away. If you triple pinky-shake that you're not her, we should be fine.
NOPE, I'm not her?him. I'm just an ardent Lindsay h8ter and a few others. Pinky!
Having a dlistedgasm. Thanx to all that said hi. Wasn't even going to pop back on to this thread. Glad I did. You've regained my hope. I don't have faith in anything but now I do have hope. And I'm not on Facebook yet as Twitter used my last nerve. Don't want all the cunts from high school that assumed I was going on to be a Dr to put me on repeat as to why I'm miserable and a bitch full of envy for so many reason. Anyway, thanks again for the welcome.
PFK:
Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your comments. I always read them in their entirety.
I will digress with you on just one point. I have seen a lot of shade thrown by MK towards people of the Republican and Conservative persuasion. Name calling and demeaning of their beliefs.
Of course, it is his website and he is free to do what he likes but by no means is he without his prejudices.
Mani6 - I really enjoy your comments! You have a very good sense of humor. I like Jelly Bean too, who is also a very good-natured poster. I like a lot of posters on here that I don't think of acknowledging because their comments never really demand a response.
Andrei - Those Coulter quotes are not nice and I don't expect you to take them as sarcasm even if they were meant that way (if she said them at all), but Democrats and liberals say things just as horrible or worse and I'll bet you don't hold it against them. I thought it was determined that Proposition 8 passed in California because of all the African American voters who turned out for Obama, and if you think the illegal immigrants in our country or Obama's old pastor the Rev. Wright are for gay marriage or "women's rights" or any of the other wedge issues Democrats drag out at election time and then shove back under the rug only to bring them out again the next election cycle then you are being naive.
I can only imagine how disappointed the Democrats are to have just passed The Violence Against Women Act with so little pushback from Republicans because not only can't they trot out that issue anymore, now when one of them decides to show his wittle weewee to young females on twitter he will be in twice as much trouble as a woman who does the same to young males. Ha Ha.
luvmehateme - Michael K. is not mean-spirited in his shading habits, at least not since I've been coming here. As to his flaming homosexuality, I see some very masculine traits in him, like his inability to be a petty bitch who takes things too personally and who welcomes, or at least tolerates, different views (not that straight men can't be petty bitches but MK is quite a bit more refreshing than those idiots at Celebitchy), his macho prowess in straightening out technical difficulties such as hacked malicious software warnings, and his complete indifference and utter refusal to acknowledge the one HSotD suggestion I sent him that would get a hundred times more comments than the ones he's been posting. He may be gay but at least I see him as a man.
Ecco Homo - I like Megan Fox too! There's one poster here who is obviously one of those "men's rights" slugs that I've seen a couple of comments from (The Big Bad Wolf or something), but other than that I like and respect everyone here. Lovein!
Osage Okie regarding Gem post - RIGHT ON!
Elisabeth is as far left as she is right. There are far scarier Republicans than her. I'm going to miss all her cool necklaces and clothes!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Those of you who are saying Coulter is just trying to cynically stir up shit are really reaching. She does have a schtick of firmly stating her opinions while appearing to laugh at liberals but after years of trying to be heard through charges of being a racist whatever whathaveyou... well, that's just the schtick her strong personality settled into. Why don't you read or hear what she has to say and research her sources instead of dismissing her. If you dare, that is. For years Newt Gingrich went to inner-city neighborhoods to discuss his ideas and visions for their communities. The first time he would visit one such neighborhood there would be maybe 3 people in the audience. The next time there would be a few dozen. Give differing world views a try. Get some wrinkles on those smooth brains of yours!
friendtoallcats - if you think that You Tube clip made Mann Coulter (as compared to who? Because the 4 women I saw interrupting, sulking, and clucking over Ann's voice at that table can't compete in the strong and feminine looks department... sorry) appear extremist and hateful then I don't know what to say.
Here's a link to a You Tube video that deals a little bit with what Ann was trying to say but for some odd reason couldn't be heard. It is a companion piece to African American Frantz Kebreau's "Democrats see 'Blacks' as 'Useful Idiots' " viral video I posted recently:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3LqPedoxSk
Sherri Shepherd obviously gets a large part of her self-value from the victim role Democrats feed her. In your link she showed absolutely no interest in having her propagandized ass exposed to any "new" ideas or a differing opinion backed up with facts. She's had what? about 15 abortions? and is as dumb as a rock and she has nobody to thank for that but Democrats. And I'll bet she does every single day of her life.
Swoon at Ecce and Deb with the properly used French.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 1:47pm.
Ann Coulter may have been hot at one time but the older and more ridiculously rabid she gets, the more she resembles a ropy corncob with a bad dye job.
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Werd. She needs to update her look. But I have the feeling she is gonna be one of those bitches who tries to rock long blonde hair and cleavage into her 90s.
Cheers, poordavid! Love your avie!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:43pm.
For the record, even if I don't post a reply - your posts always bring me a smile and often a laugh. Keep 'em coming!
****************************************************I look forward to both of you posting.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 3:21pm.
I like the way you think!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Deb, I know. Winter's finally over!! I have an idea for your gardening/landscaping business. Hot boys in shorts. Then you can sit back and enjoy the sun (under a hat of course) and the view. Your clients too. Ok, maybe some girls too. ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Withy - the snow is melting fast. In a couple of weeks, I'm hoping to be busy with spring clean-ups. I can't afford it, but I want to go work on my melanoma on a hot beach for 3-4 days, dammit!
Rande- I can relate to the Catholic guilt! Matt Hassellbeck must be pushing 40. The Titans blow.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 3:02pm.
I have this ex-Catholic guilt about not being a tiny bit on-topic when possible. :(
Matt still plays--just barely--for the Titans. Tim is the ESPN commentator and wife to Liz.
RandéS, it's "Hasslecrack" - the NFL commentator is Hasselhoff. Geeze you guys and your spelling. ;D
@Deb, amen to that! Hey, you guys ok with that storm last week?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:58pm.
I didn't know Matt was in the booth now. He was a QB for the Seattle Seahawks for a bunch of years. I think he was playing back-up QB for someone last year. Way to be on-topic! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:49pm.
Flattery!! haaaaaaaaaa
Hasselbeck, huh? He's an NFL commentator, right?
lmao Within! Bye, bitch!
MANI!!! Never. I live to see your birdhead pop up.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:43pm.
For the record, even if I don't post a reply - your posts always bring me a smile and often a laugh. Keep 'em coming!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:43pm.
It ain't fair having all these interruptions to quality D-time! Don't worry, you guys are stuck with me!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Sweetas on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:40pm.
... imagine going through life with perpetual just smelled a fart face, how wonderful...
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Exactly, I'm still basking in the afterglow from hearing this bitch got fired too. HAHAHAHAHA
#allthesebitchesontheywayout
@Bacon & Ecce, hiyas!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Hey Ecce! Hope work goes by vitement!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:33pm.
*listening to wind rushing through the trees*
hahaha. I always say that, just because no one replies, doesn't mean they didn't read your post. I'll just keep telling myself that, contrary to mounting evidence.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:33pm.
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Well now you WILL get a reply!! hahahaha You doing taxes this weekend? Ugh, that's no fun! I've had a heck of a lot of work to do too. Man, this stuff's cutting into my DL time, grrrr. Otherwise, you been good Deb?
And, if your cats get snippy (no surprise, ever) just come here and say hi! But please check back too, lol <3
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:33pm.
Hi Deb!
Bye Deb (I gotta go to work, malhereusement)!
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"Look, I'm always looking for a beefy football player to come out of the closet. And then on my face." BuckeyeInChicago
Racism, elitism and general hate is so cool! I mean, imagine going through life with perpetual just smelled a fart face, how wonderful. #richwhitey
Who in the world are you talking about? If it is Elizabeth, it would be fair to provide factual examples not just name-calling.
Submitted by Osage Okie on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:27pm.
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I am sorry, I have to take issue with everything you just said about your father.
1. He is old enough to have lived through the Depression and WWII. Perhaps he was involved in the war. These events made a huge impression upon the people that lived during that time.
2. He and his friends are "rich". OK, that means that they made their OWN way. TheY worked hard, saved, and sacrificed. Is this something to be ashamed of? I think not. This was the American dream and now he has enough money to pay for his care plus leave enough for his brat children when he dies.
3. He is white. Wow. He is white. So what. Does that matter?
YOU NEED TO RESPECT AND APPRECIATE YOUR FATHER. YOU ARE LUCKY HE IS STILL ALIVE. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
PERHAPS IF YOU LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS FRIENDS, YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
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Bottom line...listen to your old, white racist father and learn how to love "the COULT you ungrateful piece of shit! Old, rich, white men know EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!"
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Submitted by Osage Okie on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:27pm.
Your mother didn't breast feed you, did she?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 2:01pm.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 1:57pm.
Anyone seen Deb lately? She's always talking to herself...
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Well sometimes my cats are tired of listening to me, so.....
HAHA! You and Withy!
I'm STILL steadfastly putting off my business taxes! Yay, me! I have to knuckle down - tomorrow!
How's everyone?
(Now watch, I'll get no reply...)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I have read (sorry don't remember where) that intelligent and educated people are more likely to join cults. I agree that education and intelligence don't make one infallible or immune from belief in dumb or crazy things.
Different strokes for different, I guess. I'd rather be uneducated and me than "educated" and Ann Coulter.
Submitted by Gem on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 1:38pm.
My Dad LUVS Ann Coulter, along with all the other rich, white, racist old dudes he lives with at the nursing home. Of course, he's 87 & has Alzheimers.
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I am sorry, I have to take issue with everything you just said about your father.
1. He is old enough to have lived through the Depression and WWII. Perhaps he was involved in the war. These events made a huge impression upon the people that lived during that time.
2. He and his friends are "rich". OK, that means that they made their OWN way. TheY worked hard, saved, and sacrificed. Is this something to be ashamed of? I think not. This was the American dream and now he has enough money to pay for his care plus leave enough for his brat children when he dies.
3. He is white. Wow. He is white. So what. Does that matter?
YOU NEED TO RESPECT AND APPRECIATE YOUR FATHER. YOU ARE LUCKY HE IS STILL ALIVE. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
PERHAPS IF YOU LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS FRIENDS, YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
@Lacie
What Deb said!
I know I am usually doing five different things when on the D (as most prolly are) and miss a lot of what is going on at any given moment. And then, there is Hot Lips playing keyboard interruptis. When he wants his belly rubbed, HE WANTS HIS BELLY RUBBED, DAMMIT! ;)
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Deb, VOB, how are you guys? Wanna talk to ourselves out loud together? Could be fun!
VOB, whatchu been up to? I popped in criminally late, bbut you'd all gone to bed, lol
Deb, I hear you!!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Just chiming in: I like most of the people here, even people I don't agree with philosophically or politically (unless they bag on my gurl Megan Fox, then it's WAR!).
I'm always in and out depending on how busy the day is so I miss a lot of comments until way later and it feels awkward replying to something said 6 hours previously.
P.S. I guess it makes me a freak here or something, but I LOVE Migraineuse and Karen Flatts.
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"Look, I'm always looking for a beefy football player to come out of the closet. And then on my face." BuckeyeInChicago
RandéS, lmao I cannot argue with that. All for get the $$ bitches too but getting over them real fast. Magazines, news, tv, radio, online, DL *side-eyes*... you get the idea.
And no surprise, I'm listening to the radio now, and what are they talking about, you guessed it, Beiby... haha
Thanks I'll see if I can find VOB.
ETA: HAHAHAHA Yeah, where is Deb? She's is a bit of a self-talker Cookoo... Why does she do that?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 1:57pm.
Anyone seen Deb lately? She's always talking to herself...
Hey Withy.. Thank you Ramde
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 10:14am.
Submitted by Lacie Panties on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 3:22am.
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It happens to all of us! Don't take it personally. Half the time I feel like I'm talking to myself! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 1:43pm.
Off-topic, I CANNOT GET AWAY FROM TAYLOR SWIFT MUSIC OR LEZBEAVER NEWS, ARGH ARGH ARGH trouble trouble trouble. Imma drown someone, preferably one of them, ok thanks bye.
LOL. TS made like $54m last year! We can mock her, but it's hard to mock her financial success.
My coworkers and I went out for sushi lunch yesterday. We were goofing on Bieber when, on the sushi bar's background big-screen TV, Wolf Friggin Blitzer came on CNN to do a 10-minute piece on the Bieb's recent scandals.
VOB was worried about you or something last nite. She asked me (not sure why) to say Hi to you. So HI!!!! haha
OT: Can everyone on The View quit or get fired?
MJT, I know, And yeah, some people say hi bye too fast. What's the hurry right, hahhaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.