We're All Tamara Ecclestone

Well, we're all Tamara Ecclestone without the zillions of dollars of daddy's money, the $32 million London mansion, the lease agreement on a $125 million Holmby Hills mansion, the wonky nose job, the weave made from the manes of a dozen Arabian ponies, the zero sense of knowing what it's like to actually earn a dollar for yourself and the anus covered with liquid platinum and canary diamonds (mine's only covered with yellow-tinted Wite Out and plastic Barbie earrings). Okay, we're all nothing like Tamara Ecclestone, but I'm sure this was most of us on New Year's Eve. Replace the fancy bellman with the clerk at 7-Eleven and replace that fancy gold dress with a torn tank top and stained swim shorts, and that was me on New Year's Eve! I'm pretty sure my mom was behind me making a "Did I actually give birth to a human whose drunk farts smell like that?!" face.

These pictures of the Nicky Hilton of Britain are from the early hours of 2013 (aka 2 days old), but in between yelling at the wild Hawaiian roosters for making rooster noises and making bitchfaces at the loud children at the pool in my mom's timeshare, I missed them! So I'm bringing them to you way late, because I just can't resist a picture of a drunk-eyed, messy ho who looks like a plastic Mufasa in bad Leona Lewis drag.

Anyway, I'm back from my Hawaiian vacation so I'd like raise a Bikini Blonde to Lahoma, Sweetas and J. Harvey for sprinkling the foolery on Dlisted while I was off getting a sunburn on my armpit (that happened somehow). And now that I'm back full-time expect 100% more eyebrow appreciation and 90% more grammatical errors. (Yes, I read your posts, J. Harvey. You're the 10%!)

Wenn.com

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 7:22pm.

The next generation Paris Hiltons are soooo boring but LOVE that bellman, LOVE HIM!

Thanks again to Sweetass, J. Harvey and Lahoma for posting. Welcome back MK! Awesome job all around. :D

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by Red Baron on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 7:17pm.

I'll cosign the FilthyBitch.

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 4:36pm.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 3:53pm.
LOL You are correct. "proud" is not correct all the time, but still learning:)

Submitted by FilthyBitch on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 3:31pm.

Thank FUCK you're back!
Can we just have J. Harvey next time, please!

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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11

Submitted by beastie on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 3:04pm.

AAAAGGGHHHH MK IS BACK THANK FUCK

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:23pm.

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 3:48pm.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:48pm.
Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:16pm.
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I don't know if I'm necessarily PROUD of half the stuff I learn on here, but if it makes me laugh - it's otay!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:18pm.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:48pm.
Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:16pm.

@Madly - I'm 51 too! There are a few of us "old-timers" on the D.

Put me in the older crowd. There's more on here than we think. Bet more read than post.
I will say this, reading MK and other posters--I've learned alot! Feel a bit more "with it" HAHAHA. I truly enjoy reading other generations thoughts on things--even if I don't agree.

Submitted by Anonymous101 on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:12pm.

Welcome back, MK!! I actually thought it was the other Kate . . . Katie Price . . . and was going to commend her for keeping her clothes on this time.

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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)

Check out mah page, horz! ;)
https://www.facebook.com/OrderOfTheDimensions

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:55pm.

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 3:18pm.

I think most of us have been where she's at in these pics a few times in our lives. For us though, no one is usually taking our pictures as we come stumbling out...
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Speak for yourself, Dina! ;)

You are right!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Winnyfranfran on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:54pm.

Elegance has a name! Bwahahahahaha!

Good one MK and welcome back!

Oh yeah, I'm 47! WooT!

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:48pm.

I think most of us have been where she's at in these pics a few times in our lives. For us though, no one is usually taking our pictures as we come stumbling out...

What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:37pm.

snowy = damn whippersnapper!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:26pm.

*sits in the activia-eaters corner*

welcome back MK! armpit sunburn sounds like it hurts like a mo fo

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:19pm.

damn, y'all are OLD! LOL ;p

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:18pm.

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:16pm.

@Madly - I'm 51 too! There are a few of us "old-timers" on the D. I believe Island Girl is around our age as well.
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Me three! Just remember, "Mid-Century" is all the rage now!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Madly on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:09pm.

*High-fives Gobbler and rukiddingme*

Well-seasoned women, represent!

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:06pm.

Submitted by chinchilla: "it's like looking at Dina and LiLo but with less orange and nicer furs."

LMFPO. YES!

Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:01pm.

Her hair does look fabulous. But I worry that her family may be breeding human slaves in the old Spelling mansion just for hair extensions..

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:52pm.

She looks, well Drunk! Drunk doesn't look good on anyone does it. I do like the dress a bit.
Seems a bit low keyed for a "celebrity" on New Years.

Submitted by Get Serious on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:49pm.

Their father, Bernie Ecclestone, is a nice older guy who is in charge of, and has aggressively expanded, the Formula One racing circuit. He's worked for his money, and knows the value of a dollar. He's the first to admit that he was in the right place at the right time. His daughters, on the other hand, are spoiled rotten bitches who don't know what working for a living means & were raised by their mother with a platinum coke spoon shoved up their noses. They seem determined to spend every dollar of their inheritance now, so as to become the new hilton sisters.

Stupid, stupid bitches...

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:46pm.

@Madly - I'm 51 too! There are a few of us "old-timers" on the D. I believe Island Girl is around our age as well.

Submitted by not shocked on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:44pm.

She always has that handled-barbituate-intoxication-psychotropic-tardive-kinesia-catatonic-Valley-of-The-Dolls look

Submitted by Gobbler on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:43pm.

*High-fives Madly*
Dang, girl! Now that you've stated your age on here, certain people will use it against you at every opportunity. Don't let it bother you. Take satisfaction in knowing that, if they're lucky enough, they too will be "old" one day.

*team no doll hair*

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:43pm.

Submitted by dbella on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:20pm.
I love the guy in the green suit. He looks like some sort of demented Communist-bloc prison guard.

HAHAHA. With insomnia.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:40pm.

Lookit all that DOLL HAIR.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by Madly on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:38pm.

Submitted by Gobbler on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:53pm.

Women her age? She's 28. Not that I am defending this twat. Women ANY age look pathetic with hair like that. It's ridic.

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Hi, Gobbler. I amended my comment, apparently while you were writing yours. I had two thoughts at the same time and got them mixed up, so I went back and fixed my post. I was horrified when I saw what I'd done, and hoped to change it before anyone noticed! (I'm 51, certainly in no position to harp on anyone's age.)

Submitted by chinchilla on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:26pm.

it's like looking at Dina and LiLo but with less orange and nicer furs.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:26pm.

Every time I glance at this post, I think of Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People". (His best song, IMHO)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:23pm.

MK imma gonna play "TOO SHY" by the mother-of-all hair bleached blondes Kajagoogoo.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by Gobbler on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:23pm.

Submitted by Madly on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 1:42pm.
Women her age look pathetic with hair like that — too long, fake, and forcibly pulled forward so it cascades artificially down the front of their chests. It looks awful, and screams "Look at how young and sexy I am!"

---------------------
Women her age? She's 28. Not that I am defending this twat. Women ANY age look pathetic with hair like that. It's ridic.

Submitted by nothalfbad on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:22pm.

I bet you money she paid 500 dollars for that dress and don't even bother to wear a girdle. Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:16pm.

Welcome back MK! I raise you not only an armpit rash, but a linear lump in it to. That trumps your armpit sunburn!

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:12pm.

WHO???????

Submitted by Madly on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:21pm.

Women look pathetic with hair like that — too long, fake, and forcibly pulled forward so it cascades artificially down the front of their chests. It looks awful, and screams "Look at how young and sexy I am!" Bitch, you're not young, you're not sexy, and you need to cut off those strings of dead cells, because they look like shit.

This never-ending, desperate style makes me miss the '80s, and that alone pisses me off.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:10pm.

Welcome back, MK! Rub some Noxema on that armpit, doll!
This bitch and her mom should have enough dough to buy purses that will accomodate their phones and cigs.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:59am.

Also, the dude in the green suit looks like Uncle Fester.

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:59am.

Welcome back, Michael!

Wow, this is proof that money does not buy class. And foot tattoos are SO classy. I bet this family donates nothing to charity. I heard that Bernard Ecclestone is having some massive legal problems. Hopefully his fortune will dwindle tremendously.

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:57am.

oh wow...to be that fucking rich.........

**************************************************
And I kept touching my neck
To guide your eyes where I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone

Submitted by dbella on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:50am.

I love the guy in the green suit. He looks like some sort of demented Communist-bloc prison guard.

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:42am.

The one good thing about rich fools is the obvious - no amount of money can make them pretty, funny, skinny or smart if they weren't born that way on their own account.

The visiting wags were excellent but I love my 100% Michael K and YES to lots of Eyebrow Situation tags!

Submitted by jelliebean on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:34am.

Mele Kalikimaka M.K.! Wecome back. Your slut-ins (slut stand-ins?) did a great job! After all the horrible news in gossip devil spawn etc, I slept through NYE. But sadly there have been many many years I looked like Tamara. Ughly drunk barf looks, luckily she has the right hat to use as a barf bucket.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:24am.

TRASH

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by tinyhands on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:11am.

welcome back MK!!! woot woot

and that gurl got some serious eyebrows. Soooo jelly. (I draw my shit on)

*whips condom wrapper out of bathrobe pocket* --"WE need to talk..." Richie during the out of control summer of 2005

Submitted by ewesocrazy on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:02am.

These Ecclbitches need to not happen. We've had too many famous-for-nothing-bitches glossing the celeb websites for several years now.

Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 10:58am.

Is that person (the other drunk woman) behind her trying to grab onto her hand after tripping or getting ready to hurl? Because I can't tell...

Welcome back, MK. I'm sure those roosters and chirruns will miss you!

Submitted by guest on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 10:53am.

Happeh 2013 MK! That weave must be really really heavy! :O

******************

"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 10:42am.

who is the scary looking train conductor/valet?

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 10:39am.

Perfect example of how millions of dollars does not preclude a person from being completely trashy.

That being said ba-buttons thinks this trick and her sister are wicked hot and would do both repeatedly.

With all that money, they probably sit around all day thinking of new ways to pleasure their pampered poons. Thereby increasing their whore factor in the bedroom.

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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.

Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth