Brad Pitt Thinks He's A Furniture Designer Now
Brad Pitt is an actor, humanitarian, professional baby carrier, millionaire hobo, comedian, perfume poet, stoner, house maker, savior of New Orleans and now he's designing fancy furniture for rich hos who really want to spend $45,000 on a chair that looks like a glorified bean bag for new money.
You'd think that all of the furniture in all of Brangelina's mansions is made of a material that can easily be sprayed down with a garden hose since children slobber on everything (or am I confusing "children" with "stoner movie stars"?), but nope. Brangelina has a bunch of fancy furniture in their fancy mansions and Brad Pitt loves fancy furniture so much that he regularly doodles sketches of his own fancy furniture designs. One day, furniture maker Frank Pollaro came over to install a desk in Brad Pitt's house and magically came across a sketchbook full of his furniture designs. Frank then said, "Hey, you're Brad Pitt! People will empty out their checking accounts to buy a pile of donkey shit signed by you, so let's make furniture together!"
Brad and Frank co-designed a line of furniture that they will unveil in NYC on November 13th. Brad gave Architectural Digest a special preview and talked about working with Frank:
"We talk about design, about materials, about craftsmanship, about classicism, about modernism. He has a respect for the masters of design. [I am] bent on quality to an unhealthy degree [while he] embodies the same mad spirit of the craftsmen of yore, with their obsessive attention to detail. It just so happens Frank and I speak the same language. And we both have a predilection for far too much wine."
Together, they designed a club chair, some tables, a bed and a marble tub for two that looks like the fanciest bed pan I've ever seen. They're only making limited editions of each piece that will be signed and numbered, but they have plans to make more affordable versions. So keep checking your local Levitz!
I bet Brad sketched his furniture designs on an Etch-A-Sketch, because it's all squiggles, boxes and circles. And about that bed. Does it come complete with a maid who will carry you to that bed every night so you don't almost break your leg on it? That coffee table/bench attachment thing is just waiting to bruise some shins. Inevitable.
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In this sense,the 20th century is a real fashion era,and before that,fashion more performance for the traditional fixed custom standard efforts anastomosis,and unconsciously follow flow.From the beginning of the 20th century show the unique.Einstein's special theory of relativity and freudian psychoanalysis,Picasso's cubist paintings and Duncan anti traditional modern dance,all performance new century vitality,at that time the east
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May 4th new culture movement is also wash away old conservative,Mr and advocating please to China.Interestingly,with such a a new century,the east and west have met the same is extremely common and yet baffling problem:now we what to wear?Western women trying to from tights and Victorian dress liberate,and cut the braid,pick the red hat or cap with tassels Chinese,how to wear is the survival of a nation have become a big problem.Eastern and western world first appeared the self-consciousness of the dress culture.Free and self-conscious,become fashion development the most comfortable bed.
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The east and the west are showing clothing for the other party of the aesthetic feeling with desire,fashionable identity trend has produced certain psychological basis.After the 30 s of fashion in a landmark event,that is the designer and the birth of the brand.After the chanel,French designer dior and on the fashionable command set,then separately with their respective names the clothing brand.Brand is fashionable flags and guide,it makes the original disorder fashion consciousness towards unified social aesthetic forward.And each brand back,stood by a representative human clothing aesthetic a concept design giants.Fashionable mature,first of all should be attributed to the pursuit of freedom and beauty of the capital's women,they through the fashion found himself.
The use of emulsification and preservative may contain chemical composition.Popular speaking,literally in the field in root flowers and plants can be called the natural plant,but if you want to call it organic plant,it must,in accordance with the requirements of the international organic agricultural production and the corresponding standard to grow,not allowed to use chemical fertilizers,pesticides,more can't use artificial growth agent,in addition to these,but also the plants take to relevant organizations do organic certification,so that from organic plant does not add any artificial and chemical preparation manufactured products can be called organic products.
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Each person's skin allergic source is different,even more natural,and organic composition,will still be someone for these ingredients cause allergic reaction,such as organic way production of Bergamot (Bergamot) essential oil,because of the essential oils contain Fu nan coumadin (Bergaptene) the photosensitive component,is caused extremely easily light allergic reaction.So even if organic,also cannot say must be one hundred percent of the safety maintain article,more can't guarantee on the skin is no stimulation
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General component protect skin to taste,the court will pack than ordinary passenger loading senior five times,have a lot of guests in nursing will specially to buy a whole suit,specialized to make himself to shop after nursing slowly use.For added chemical preservative products for,so no problem,convenient health,but just for one person.But for organic products for,have less packaging big court installed.
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Because organic skin care products fine high purity,and contains no artificial preservatives,usually are 10 ml to 30 ml little bottle package,some exquisite brand,more take vacuum packaging,prolong the aging.Some organic products in general can keep intact before 18 months,once the kaifeng about can only save 4 months,so beauty salon in the preservation of organic products,would be very careful
Submitted by lislop on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 12:53pm.
Stinkbutt, I know exactly what you mean about Craigslist and those sellers who trying to push their ugly, used overpriced furniture on to the next dork. If I see adjectives like "amazing, gorgeous" I know it's the opposite.
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hahaa SO TRUE!
Stinkbutt, I know exactly what you mean about Craigslist and those sellers who trying to push their ugly, used overpriced furniture on to the next dork. If I see adjectives like "amazing, gorgeous" I know it's the opposite.
He sure loves swirls. This is the kinda shit that people on CL put in the header of their ad "Amazing Gorgeous Furniture for sale, wont last long", and then you click that shit, and it's ugly fugly shit furniture like this...and then you say to yourself...OMG some people have the worst taste EVER, well so does this hobo.
He is a jackass. And he is very dumb. I mean, no intellect, whatsoever. Someone like this--with celebrity & money--will look at a Frank. L. Wright coffee table book & assume that, just because he likes the pretty pictures, he, himself, is as talented as FLW. Have I told you how much I don't like Brad Pitt?
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:40pm.
Brad's lucky he was born blonde and handsome by most people's standards because he has no talent; all his faculties are mediocre or downright sucky.
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Brad latched on to several famous women, such as: Robin Givens, Gwyneth, Jennifer and Throbbing Forehead Vein. He's certainly used his relationships with famous women and no doubt did some sexual favors here and there for men and women.
That swirly coffee table looks kinda like the swirly engagement ring he designed for Aniston. Guess he loves swirls.
Submitted by poopandcandy on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 1:20am.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 5:11pm.
Truly! and the same can be said X10 for Angiho and her supposed " " expertise" relating to her U.N. "job".
thousands of people with education and real, years long field experience,, then we have whorely poncing around in her black *SATIN abaya. jaysus.
PS
clearly that "bed" was designed by two spoiled jack asses that has never had to change the bed sheets as someone else does it for them..
the foot area of that bed, and trying to put on the sheets.. looks like you'd get your hand stuck in the teeny space between the 'foot board' and the mattress
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
Why does he speak like this? I can't with these quotes. He's so embarrassing.
I'd hate to be a guest in their house unless I could sleep on an air mattress and eat the crap off their kids' menus.
Yuck.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 5:11pm.
It's that he gets to bypass the schooling and sweat equity that every other aspiring furniture designer has to put in, and just jump to the front of the line. That pisses me OFF.
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THIS! All the schooling and internships and then some talentless trash like Kim Kardashian, Jessica Simpson, and Miley Cyrus have fashion/shoe lines among other things. Even Snookie could get a midget fashion line if she hasn't already or the brats from Teen Mom. This is why i refuse to buy any of their shit, even if by some off-chance i liked one of their tacky "designs."
this is one of those cases where having a degree in industrial design would help... maybe. it's all very hideous.
Well, we can all see where the money is going. So stoned. Just sooo stoned.
Hey, I also have a predilection for far too much wine! *designing bad, uncomfortable furniture*
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Married men who wish to seduce young women always have horrid wives.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 9:38pm.
I think I can speak for all enquiring minds when I say that we need to know more about Tiger's art career.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Submitted by Violet on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 11:41pm.
Looks like some fingerhut catalog shit.
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This.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
See, this is what comes from bouncing on sharp and brittle bones too long, sharp edges become comfortable.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Even the "comfy chair" looks uncomfortable.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
This Bitch.
As far as I'm concerned he can suck a wet fart out of a frog's fat ass, hold it in and get as high as a mother licker.
That might change his predilection for far too much wine.
Good luck getting out of bed during the night without banging your shins on that stupid glass bench at the foot of the bed. Looks like some fingerhut catalog shit.
Looks like fancy hospital/office furniture in spite of Brad's unhealthy degree of quality and "predilection" for the oldie word "yore".
Lmao at the shin-splintering coffee table/bench attachment thing and bedpan bath tub (MK has pretense bashing observations coming out of his ying-yang).
Sooo...how the fuck do you make up that bed?
Looks like rejected shit from the 1960s or 70s. Wannabe-futuristic crapola that looks like dated white-trash stuff.
Good thing he's successful as an actor, because he's a shit furniture designer.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Yeah Brad, we're not flying to Africa every other week so we don't need a bed that packs into a piece of luggage thanks.
This ugly crap reminds me of an interior decorating book my mom had in the house when I was a kid. Though I grew up in the 80s, the book was from the 70s (clearance rack) and was supposed to be groovy and modern. The decorating ideas were the ugliest shit ever. You'd see avocado green walls and dark orange rugs and the furniture looked like this shit!
Brad's lucky he was born blonde and handsome by most people's standards because he has no talent; all his faculties are mediocre or downright sucky.
Look like cheap knock-offs that you can buy in the seedy areas of town... That bed is, in a word, stupid.
And whats with the bed pan? Are the rich using them for irony's sake?
As an artist myself, you can come up with some MEGA cool designs whilst on the good shit. The problem is, you don't think of construction or assembly...or practicality (sp?). Granted, you design for the peeps you design for, but I'd have problems with most of these not just on an aesthetic level but on a practicality level, but that's just me. I'm not a rich ho, so whatevs. I give it all a 'Meh' except for that horrible bed.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
That bed looks like a sex accident waiting to happen. Not everyone is into pain, Brad.
I'm not gonna lie, if I had money I'd be a fashion designer.
*ignores everyone rolling there eyes*
Whoever said "BRANDgelina", exactly! Truth!
I love these people that brag about donating money. They only do it for tax-write-off purposes.nary a penny more. Feathers in their caps.
"the only thing his face should host is a fist" MK
Cheap,Tacky and Trashy, and the furniture looks like shit too.
I'm sure some poor dickhead would buy it, gotta keep them in a lifestyle, gotta keep the brand going. Still, I think Brad would be cool to get high with.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:35pm.
...Like the coffee table - what good is a table that you can't stretch your legs under?
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That coffee table has Jen Aniston's name in it...
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...the end
That bed looks like the kinda bed you can have a white trash FEAST in. I mean it looks like a spruced up Motel 6 design and all that table space to put your bags of NASTAY on? That's what I think when I look at it.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
ALL very well-said, but especially that last part. Some of them pass form-wise, but all of those pieces fail functionally. Even that Kartell/Starck outdoor chair knock-off
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Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:35pm.
But each of these designs poses some problem - they all sacrifice function for form. Like the coffee table - what good is a table that you can't stretch your legs under? Who wants to knock your toes and shins against all that unpredictable tubage? Shoot, ALL the tables are like that.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 5:49pm.
Twatty, she does look stinky, like she would smell like dirty scalp. That smell grosses me OUT.
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HAHAHAHA! *scratches head* Hey, Hekki, smell my fingers!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:35pm.
Honestly, why NOT design furniture? You might as well make something concrete, if you have the ability and the spare change with which to realize your vision.
Beats spending that same money on baby clothes that will be worn once, if you ask me.
....
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I can't stand Brad, but I agree. If I had the money, I'd be a total dilettante too.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
I like the swirly table, and... that's about it. The bed reminds me of those sedans from the 1970's with the fake wood paneling.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by snowball on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:21pm.
Didn't Jennifer Aniston say after they got divorced she could finally buy a comfortable couch?
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We know Brad didn't need to take the coffee table with him. If you got Angelina on her hands and knees all you'd need to do is put your coffee mug on her back and you got yourself a fine table. Now you'd have to be careful if you want to put more than one mug down, you wouldn't want to break anything.
Honestly, why NOT design furniture? You might as well make something concrete, if you have the ability and the spare change with which to realize your vision.
Beats spending that same money on baby clothes that will be worn once, if you ask me.
But each of these designs poses some problem - they all sacrifice function for form. Like the coffee table - what good is a table that you can't stretch your legs under? Who wants to knock your toes and shins against all that unpredictable tubage? Shoot, ALL the tables are like that.
Next time, Brad.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
This does not look like very comfortable furniture to me.
PEPPER FOR PRESIDENT!!!
Didn't Jennifer Aniston say after they got divorced she could finally buy a comfortable couch?
Classic modernism, my favorite.
ubmitted by IHateCharityChic on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 6:36pm.
Brad: “.... as if you could tell the story of one’s life with a single line.”
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Well you could certainly tell the story of his career and personal life with a single line, I believe it's called a FLATLINE!
His ability to design furniture is comprised of looking at a series of someone else's designs, pointing and saying "hey I like that one"
Then they hold a joint over his head till he rolls over, they give him the joint a pat on the head and he runs over to his favourite corner and smokes it.
That hospital bed built for two looks cheap.
So, basically, all Pitt has to do is "suggest" he'd like to see his designs brought to life and he suddenly has a buyer? Pathetic. Then again, if you have money, I'm sure anyone would listen to you.. no matter how full of shit you are.
Im dizzy after the eye roll this produced.
Celebutards live in a bubble .. 45k for a piece of furniture?
arent we in a depression /recession , buried underwater now?
who has money to waste on foolishness like this?
keep repeating my mantra .. "bullshit is crumbling, bullshit is crumbling"..
God help this sick shallow stupid nation ..
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
That POS in the banner pic looks more like a portable bed for a campground: just fold it like a box and snap it shut and carry it with the attached handle. FOR SERIOUS that thing looks like and accident waiting to happen - bedside lamps and ankles are in danger.
I guess he'll become an astronaut next. What can't Brad do? Oh yeah, be hot anymore and pretend he's happy in the 'sex dungeon' with Skeletina.
Just like Magic Mike! lolol ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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