ESCANDALO (Not Really): A Pregnant Ass Sienna Miller Drank Champagne

May 11, 2012 / Posted by:

The Daily Mail has a picture of Homewrecker Hall of Fame recipient Sienna Miller sipping on what looks like a flute of champagne in Portofino, Italy the other day. It could be a fancy kind of sparkling chamomile tea that calls for an extra fancy glass, but it’s probably carbonated sweet nectar. Sienna is on a “babymoon” with her fiancé Tom Sturridge and one of her friend tells InTouch Weekly (via Celebitchy) that she’s been lubricating her tonsils with wine (GASP!) and champagne (GASP! GASP!).

Sienna’s friend said that it’s not like her unborn baby is going to stumble out of her vagina saying shit like, “Yooooooo knows what yer problems is?!” The friend said that she’s just sipping, “Sienna is European and it’s common there for a pregnant woman to have a glass of wine or champagne. She’d never do anything to harm her unborn baby.

Is it really just a European thing, though? I thought it was an international thing especially since more and more women are chomping on their placentas after giving birth. And any chef will tell you that meat is most delicious when braised in wine. SO DRINK UP!

On another note, are we really using the phrase “babymoon” now? Why don’t you just gag me with a CROC? It’ll bring the barfs up faster. Not only does “babymoon” sounds like something a prankster baby does, but it also sounds like “Over the Moon’s” equally gross first cousin. Can we not?

On another nother note, what is Tom Sturridge’s ass trying to accomplish with that updon’t? Is he really trying to look like a skinny hipster sumo wrestler? Can he not?

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