Lindsay Lohan’s former partner in pussy is taking a break from making hundreds of thousands of dollars for pressing playing on iTunes at parties and is trying to the whole singing thing. I have no doubt that SamRo can press the fuck out of a play button on an iPod, but daaaamn her singing voice makes me wish she came with a mute button. SamRo’s album “Chasing the Reds (An Ode To Period Sex)” is out now and she warbled out one of the songs on LIVE! With Kelly this morning. If you’ve ever told a lame dog that its soul-killing painful yelp is the worst thing that has ever touched your ears, then you need to send that lame dog an apology card. Because this shit is worst. SamRo getting a record tells me that every drunk frat boy who sounds like hell while singing a Bruno Mars song during karaoke night at the sports bar (you know who you are) should also get a record deal.
I was going to throw hate at Kelly Ripa for saying that SamRo’s piece of shit song is going to be all the rage in bars, but then I realized that she’s probably telling the truth. Whenever a bar is slow, they’re going to put on this SamRo song and BOOM! Every ho in there will buy a shot of EVERYTHING and drink until the booze overflows up into their head and drowns out their sense of hearing.