Amy Winehouse Boozed Her Way To Death
Mitch Winehouse said a while ago that the Coroner informed the family that his daughter Amy Winehouse did not have heroin, cocaine, meth or anything else found in Lindsay Lohan's first-aid kit in her system at the time of her death. Mitch put on his crime solvin' hat and said that he believes his daughter got a piggyback ride from the Grim Reaper to the heavens, because she started drinking alcohol after a long break from the bottle. Mitch can give himself the saddest pat on the back ever, because he's right.
The coroner held a hearing this morning in London and explained that Amy had "416mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood." 350mg of booze is considered lethal and 80mg is the legal limit for driving in the UK. The coroner was told by Amy's family and doctors that she had quit drinking for two weeks straight and she started up again just a few days before her death. There were three empty bottles found in her bedroom. The coroner went on to say, "She had consumed sufficient alcohol at 416mg per decilitre (of blood) and the unintended consequence of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden and unexpected death."
The coroner declared Amy Winehouse's cause of death as "death by misadventure." "Death by misadventure" sounds like equal parts sad and strangely whimsical. Like the last title of a The Rescuers movie. I'm probably going to breathe my last breath into my Prince Hot Ginge blow-up doll while surrounded by my cat's children, but I still hope "death by misadventure" is written on my death certificate. RIP Amy. You lived by misadventure and died by misadventure.
UPDATE: I must have 350mg of booze in my system, because Mitch Winehouse actually said before that he believes Amy died of alcohol withdrawal. Mitch never said that he believes she died of drinking the sweet nectar after a break. So take back that sad pat, Mitch.