Tyra Banks Killed Crystal Swift Wind!

July 21, 2011 / Posted by:

Let’s all bow our heads in mourning and pour one out for She-Ra’s horse Crystal Swift Wind who was brutally butchered by the first lady of crazy Ty Ty Banks. If She-Ra wasn’t just a plastic action figure who lives on a shelf in my closet, she’d avenge the murder of her best friend. Look at that crazy ass murdering bitch smiling a crazy smile while wearing Crystal Swift Wind’s wing as a trophy. It’s truly a sad day. R.I.P. Crystal Swift Wind.

Ty Ty tried to explain that mess of a bedazzled wing on her eye during an interview with Good Morning America to promote her teen fiction novel called Modelland. Ty Ty put the sparkle on the crazy when she explained it like this:

“So at Modelland, this fantasy world I’ve created for my novel, if you find one of these, which I call a Smize. It increase your chances of getting into the most exclusive school in the entire world. The school that creates that the most amazing supermodels called Intoxibellas. It increases your chances by 91%.”

No bitch, it only increases your chances of looking like a damn fool by 91%. Why didn’t that wing do its job and make her face fly away?

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