Mimi is continuing the tradition of naming her perfumes after baby prostitot street gangs. First came Luscious Pink and now she has announced that she will release her latest perfume LOLLIPOP BLING in June through Elizabeth Arden. You don’t have to reach far into your memory to know that Mimi was inspired by the truly elegant diamond-encrusted candy ring her husboy gave her for their anniversary.
Noah Cyrus probably already pre-ordered boxes upon boxes of this butterfly urine. Lollipop Bling is going to smell like a sweet sweet mixture of munchkin loogies, Jolly Rancher soda, a drop of Johnny Weir’s liquid glitter hole sweat, the secretions from a cougar’s vagina, and a faint whisper of burnt Spanx. TJ Maxx better make room in the back of their stock room, because LOLLIPOP BLING is coming!
And I really hope that I’m still alive in 30 years to see what Mimi has become. Bitch is still going to be running around in pink terry cloth shorty shorts and rainbow halter tops. She’s going to look like Jerri Blank. Well, if Jerri Blank got a ho-over from a gay unicorn.