Kendra’s Got A Sex Tape

One of Hugh Hefner’s former bedpan orderlies, Kendra Wilkinson, is not exactly queefing happy balloons over the news that a fuck tape she made several years ago is about to be released through Vivid Entertainment. Yes, and there you were thinking Kendra was a virginal pilgrim who wore a pair of cotton panties over and under her pantyhose and only accepted pearl necklaces from the joo-ree department at KMart. Perfect image shattered.

Apparently, Kendra boned on camera before she moved into the Playboy Mansion in 2004 when she was 19.

Vivid shot loads all over the place when they released this statement about Kendra’s tape. Seriously, reading this statement is like blowing a dude with an excessive pre-ejaculation issue.

‘We know that Kendra has millions of fans and we feel that it’s rare to find well-produced, hardcore footage of a star of her magnitude. The tape was brought to us by a third party and after consulting with our attorneys, we are confident in our right to distribute it. We’ve been trying to reach Kendra but have so far been unsuccessful. We therefore made the decision to release ‘Kendra Exposed’ to stores across the country by the end of May,’ said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid. “We believe this could be our all time best selling celebrity tape.”

“Kendra Exposed” will be distributed under the Vivid-Celeb imprint and Kendra will joining such celebrities as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Kim Kardashian and Ray J, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty, Shauna Sand and others whose sex tapes have also been released by Vivid.

The explicit tape was made before she was engaged to and then married Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett. The name of her sex partner in the video, that was shot prior to her moving into the Playboy mansion, has not been revealed.

Kendra confirmed that the tape is real and issued this statement through her spokeswhore to OK! Magazine:

Kendra’s attorneys are currently evaluating and pursuing Kendra’s rights with respect to the purported video and any third parties involved in the possible sale, reproduction or distribution of the same. During this difficult time, Kendra and her family would greatly appreciate the respect of their privacy.

In Famewhorenese, “respect our privacy” really means “BUT WATCH OUR REALITY SHOW ON E!”.

After reading this mess, I was more shocked to learn that this is her first ever leak. I was under the assumption that you could check out a Kendra sex tape from the history section at the public library.

I know Kendra wants everyone to see her as a wholesome mother and wife instead of a trick who used to get nekkid with a live corpse, but a sex tape is not a big deal at all. Everyone has one. Besides, it could be a lot worse. She could’ve made a fuck tape with Hugh Hefner instead. And I know I would rather be called a “porn star” by the PTA mothers instead of a “dead body fucker.”