Lance Armstrong announced on his Twitter page yesterday that his girlfriend Anna Hansen is knocked up with his fifth child. This will be Lance’s second kid with Anna. They have a 10-month-old son together. Lance has also has twin 8-year-old girls and an 11-year-old boy with his ex-wife. Somewhere in the world, Sheryl Crow just kicked a puppy in his nutsack.
Lance is one of those hos who has a Twitter page for their unborn baby. Anna and Lance’s fetus is Twittering under the name @Cincoarmstrong. I’m trying to find this cute, but I just can’t. Here’s Fetus Armstrong’s first Tweets:
I got 2 arms, 2 legs, a nickname, and i’m 2 inches long. See y’all in October..
9:19 AM Apr 20th via web
I’m now the size of a lemon, 3.5 inches long, and weigh 1.5 ounces. And oh yeah, I’m on Twitter.
2:41 PM Apr 25th via web
Yeah, that is definitely not cute.
And Lance’s ball deserves the honor of being named Testicle of the Year. That bitch is working harder than a call girl during the Republican National Convention. Go, nut, go!