Vanilla Gorilla Is Broken

April 2, 2010 / Posted by:

Jesse James’ lawyer Mr. Yanny is still on top of the waaaahmbulance crying about how his client is going through a hard time.

Mr. Yanny tells the Associated Press (via HuffPo) that all the rumors surrounding Vanilla Gorilla’s affairs have left him broken. What I think Mr. Yanny really meant is that Vanilla Gorilla’s got a broken boner from pounding trick ho after trick ho. Here’s Mr. Yanny’s full statement:

“This whole thing has destroyed Jesse’s entire universe. Right now, he’s a broken man. The allegations (i.e. Like how he knocked up one of his side-pieces) back and forth about what happened – those are private matters to be resolved between a husband and a wife. It’s not appropriate for a public airing. It’s nothing but voyeurism at this point. Enough is enough. There are many more significant things in the world that people ought to be talking about and delving in to.

Jesse is in love with Sandra. The single most important thing to Mr. James and the children is that the marriage somehow survive.”

Poor VG. Try to squeeze out a fart of sympathy for him this weekend.

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