Alex Reid, the dick tucking, cage fighting mongoloid boyfriend of Katie Price, beat out Dane Bowers and Vinnie Jones to win the final “Celebrity” Big Brother. Alex (or “Roxanne” if you like to pucker up to a peen wearing lipstick) won 65% of the public vote. In possibly related news, the entire water supply in the UK was tainted with MDMA minutes before the CBB voting began.
Soon after Alex ran back into the shit-stained arms of Katie Price, she declared, “He’s the love of my life and he knows that.” YES KATIE, we all know that! You only proclaim it on the cover of OK! Magazine every other week, you dumb bitch! Although, Alex might not know since there’s a good chance he can’t read. Hopefully, he subscribes to the audio version of OK!.
And I’m sure Harvey Price is thrilled that Celebrity Big Brother is over, because now he has his favorite punching bag back. All is well in the world.
Here’s some pictures from last night! In order: Roxy Fart, Vinnie Jones, Stephanie Beacham, Sisqo (who looks like the stoop sale version of an Old Navy commercial), and Dane Bowers.