The BABY ARMY Is Grooooowing!

April 20, 2009 / Posted by:

For a while there it seemed like BABY!!! production has slowed down. I could freely walk the streets without feeling like a baby was going to terrorize me with its screeches or stare at me like it’s ready to suffocate my face with its saliva, but once again I have to protect myself with a diaper over my head and a tub of baby wipes in my hand (wink to Terry Howard), because PROJECT: BABY WORLD TAKEOVER is in full swing. 39-year-old Ellen Pompeo and her husband, Chris Ivery, are having one of those greedy baby creatures!

Ellen’s spokeswhore confirms the news to People.

The two met in a grocery store in 2003 and they got married in 2007. This is their first contribution to the BABY ARMY.

Ellen always seemed like such a flimsy little thing with the body of a 90-year-old abuelita who probably falls over after eating a macadamia nut, so bitch better bulk up for baby. IHOP in the morning, Claim Jumper in the afternoon and Chili’s at night.

At this point, who knows if the hos at Grey’s Anatomy are going to write this shit in or cover her baby zone with a potted plant or the fat head of a patient. I don’t watch that wreck for reasons I’d rather not discuss (HEEEEIGGGGGL), so I don’t know if that makes sense or not.

As for baby names, I’m thinking Dr. McBaby? Better yet, how about Heiglisastupidcunt Ivery. If Ellen names her baby that, I will worship her until the BABY ARMY finally buries us all in a mountain of caca-filled diapers.

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