Sarah Michelle Gellar Is Knocked Up

I haven’t thought of Sarah Michelle Gellar or Freddie Prinze Jr. in forever, but when I read that they are having a BABY!!!, I immediately thought of the fuckery they did to Scoopy Doo! Speaking of shit that is best enjoyed with a bong (see below). Damn. Freddie should never attempt that hair again. He looked like he was one step closer to dethroning Scotland’s #1 Male Barbie. Anyway, back to the baby at hand.

One of Sarah and Freddie’s loud-mouthed friends told People that she’s having a baby friend in the fall. The friend added, “They’re very excited.” At least they aren’t “over the you know what,” but just once I want to read, “It was a mistake. They aren’t very happy about it.”

Sarah, 31, and Freddie, 33, have been married for six long years. This is their first human creation together. When they first legally handcuffed themselves to each other, I didn’t think it would last that long. I was one of those “I give it a quick minute” people. But they have proven me wrong! Because of this, I will watch House of Yes this weekend and pretend like Freddie gave a good performance.

If they have a girl, they have to name her Buffy. If they have a boy, they have to name him Spike. Those are their only choices. Actually, that’s kind of cliche and boring. So if they have a boy, they have to name him Buffy. If they have a girl, they have to name her Spike. Yeah, that’s better.