Extreme Makeover: Pussy Edition

March 11, 2009 / Posted by:

Okay, I’m all for a bitch doing what she has to do to get that pussy purring. If you got to go down to Home Depot and flirt with some power tools in hopes one might take you home and drill you down, FINE. But is a nut bust really worth turning your vagina into fucking shredded beef? The ho in this story answered a fuck yes to that question.

The 27-year-old woman of Saint Mary County in Maryland was airlifted to a hospital after a saber saw done fucked up her pussy. The woman and her dick for brains boyfriend decided it would be really fucking sexy to get all America Psycho on her vagina and fuck it with a “sex toy” (I’m assuming a dildo) attached to a saber saw. It wasn’t long before the blade on the saw cut through the dildo and straight up turned her sugar walls into some BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT. The dumb bitch went from screaming “Oh baby” to “Oh baby my pussy fell off!!!!”

The bitch was released from the hospital on Monday. She told police that the idiotic sex act was consensual and no crime was committed. Yeah, tell that to her pussy. May it rest in fucking peace. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY?! I mean, I hope that when they got home she took a power drill to his asshole so he can see how it feels. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY? I still can’t. She will never watch an episode of Home Improvement the same away.

And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn’t need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It’s not the one!

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