Jessica Simpson Is A Size 2 (Or 8)

January 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Asshole Simpson was probably crying in her daddy’s lap (and he loooves it), because everyone forgot she existed. Even her baby’s name is more famous than she is.

So when some bitches started calling Jessica a fat fuck cow who uses the jelly in donuts to brush her teeth and smothers her face in cake frosting before bedtime so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night there’s a delicious surprise waiting for her, Asshole found an opportunity to get a little attention. The poster child for famewhoring wrote this on her blog:

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

Somewhere in the world, Ashlee’s old nose is thinking, “Bitch, shut up.

Asshole should really consult with Jessica before she pulls a JLove and starts throwing around the “size 2″ shit. Jessica responded to the “You so fat that you start beeping when you back up” jokes to OK!, “Going from a size 2 to a size 8, that’s not fat. If I weren’t Jessica Simpson, no one would care.

In Asshole’s defense, she can only count up to 2.

And what does the president have to do with Jessica’s fopa? I’m going to start using that excuse when the creditors call, “I’m disgusted that you are calling me about being ten payments behind. It’s only been a week since the inauguration. Let’s focus on the things that really matter!

P.S. – You can go back to forgetting that fucktard named Ashlee Simpson. Delete and reboot.

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