Maureen McCormick Was Your Typical Fucked Up Child Star

When you used to be a child star and you no longer can get any roles and you’ve maxed out your reality show quota, the next thing for you to do is write a tell-all on how fucked up your life was when you were a kid. That’s what Marcia Brady has done! Maureen McCormick is whoring out her new book “Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice” and in it, she covers all the bases. Who knew being a Brady was so much fun?

Here’s some of the things Maureen fesses up to:

She had a coke and ludes addiction
She fucked for drugs
She dated Steve Martin and Jacko
She almost lost her cherry to Barry Williams
She had full on drug binges at the Playboy Mansion
She had two abortions
She battled bulimia

And more!

Maureen said she believes she was so messed up, because of Syphilis. Yes, Syphilis. She went on “Today” this morning and said the disease caused her grandmother to die inside of a mental hospital. A week later her grandfather killed himself. After that, her mother got Syphilis.

Okay, maybe being a Brady isn’t so fun after all….. She blames Syphilis, but I blame the fact that she touched tongues with Jacko. That will eff a bitch up.