Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio was arrested for acting the fool around a bunch of children while dressed in a Kirstie Alley costume.
The police were called after Michele put on a cow costume, pissed on a neighbor’s porch and chased a bunch of children around the neighborhood. How udderly rude! The officers warned Michele and told her to keep her udders to herself. They sent Michele back to her pen and thought that was the end of the mad cow, but it wasn’t.
A couple of hours later, the cops had to come back, because Michele was blocking traffic. Officers smelled booze on her breath and said she was slurring her words.
Yesterday in court, the drunk cow pleaded guilty and a judge sentenced her to a month in the clink.
A month?! Damn. I thought this was a free country! Since when are you not allowed to put on a dollar store cow costume and run wild in the streets? I better think twice before putting on my Porky Pig costume and flashing my curly tail to frat boys in bars. That was my favorite Sunday afternoon activity. And yes, I know my tail shouldn’t curl on its own. I’ll have a medical professional look at it.