The Mole
This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. The R. Kelly child porno case is underway and opening statements began yesterday. R. Kelly’s lawyers also revealed their defense: A MOLE!!!! No, not the cute, furry creature with no eyes. I’m talking about the kind of mole that sits on your body like dead caca.
Kelly’s lawyers showed jurors police photos of a dark, caterpillar-shaped mole in the middle of his back. His lawyers told jurors that the man in sex videotape does not have a mole. Case closed! R. Kelly deserves a hug and a gift basket for the inconvenience.
Prosectors allege Kelly made the sex tape 10 years ago with a 13-year-old girl. Kelly claims it’s not him. His lawyer said the victim is “a wonderful person,” but he claimed the girl on the tape is a hooker. His lawyer said, “The woman on that tape, was paid with money — she is a prostitute.”
The video shows a girl accepting money from the dude before performing oral on him. She dances, naked, to a Backstreet Boys song. She pisses. She calls him “Daddy” while they have sex. Later, the dude pisses and cums on her. Backstreet Boys?! I DON’T want it that way.