Lesbian Gangs Are Taking Over The Country!

Last month, Bill O’Reilly did a story on a lesbian gang corrupting our youth and forcing them to commit crimes. Bill’s show claimed that “hundreds” of dyke gangs were raping young girls and beating up men. After the story aired, GLAAD and other gay rights groups attacked Bill and Rod Wheeler, the man who reported on the story, for overstating the story and not giving the facts.

Bill admitted to overstating the story. Rod Wheeler also apologized. He said, “During the O’Reilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the “Pink Pistol Packing Group.” I was not referring to the gay rights group “Pink Pistols” who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are “over 150 of these gangs” in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this “national epidemic” of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity. I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.”

So there’s not any dyke gangs? That sucks. I was about to put in my application. I mean I could pass. Actually, I’m going to start a gay gang! We’re going to spend our days watching the Golden Girls, making blended drinks, terrorizing Barney’s New York, engaging in dance-offs at Splash and blasting Abba tunes wherever we go. We’ll be bad ass.

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Thanks Phoebe