It’s A Sad, Dark, Scary Day For Gold Diggers Everywhere

Today, gold diggers everywhere are liquidating all their gifts from their married sugar daddies and sugar mamis and hiding that money far, far away, because a disgusting, gross, unjustified, anti-gold digging precedent has been set! Gold diggers better make sure that all gifts from their married pieces come in the form of cash and are off the books. Gold diggers better tattoo the words “CASH ONLY” over their fuck parts, because the game has been threatened.

The Associated Press reports that V. Stiviano, the visor-wearing gold digging alien who exposed former Clippers owner Donald Sterling as a racist, bloated wart that fell off of Jabba the Hutt’s asshole, has been ordered by an anti-gold digger judge in Los Angeles to give back the millions he gave to her as gifts. Donald Sterling’s estranged wife Shelly Sterling became gold digger enemy #1 when she demanded in a lawsuit against V. Stiviano that all of the gifts her husband gave his side piece be returned to her. Donald bought V. Stiviano all kinds of lavish shit like fancy cars, a $1.8 million house in Beverly Hills, designer purses, jewelry, stocks, etc… etc… Shelly was not fucking around, because in the list of gifts in dispute she included a $1 donation to St. Jude’s and a birthday cake. Shelly claimed that Donald gave V $3.6 million in gifts since 2010. She asked a judge to force V to repay $2.8 million of that. The judge sided with her.

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V. Stiviano Claims That Donald Sterling Is Gay And She Was Bearding For Him

Because it’s been approximately 10 minutes since V. Stiviano has gotten any attention and her fame whore spot needed scratching, she filed papers today claiming that she never boned the racist hemorrhoid  known as Donald Sterling, because he loves dick and she was his beard. Donald Sterling’s wife Shelly Sterling is suing V. Stiviano, because she says her husband gave that trollop fancy gifts like cars and a house and he was not authorized to do so. The lawsuit has been going on for a while, but TMZ says that today V. Stiviano decided to add a dose of fuckery to it by giving all of us the image of Donald Sterling’s eyes twinkling with sheer happiness as he fills his mouth with man ass. My prostate just fell out of my ass and I better go run after it before it finds a way to open my front door.

Stiviano states … she was “not ever a sexual partner of Donald T. Sterling” and “believes that [Sterling] is a homosexual and enjoys sexual acts and or sexual congress with males.”

In the legal doc, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Stiviano says Shelly was “acutely aware of [Donald’s] sexual orientation and condoned same as well as acknowledged and approved [Donald’s] gifts of money [to Stiviano].”

Stiviano also says the gifts she received were NOT community property — but rather Donald’s separate property.

V. Stiviano has thrown her own lawsuit at the Sterlings for slandering her pristine name by saying that she embezzled money from Donald. She wants at least $10 million.

I don’t know if V. Stiviano is a genius or a complete moron with cold farts for brains. I mean, Donald Sterling had a beard wife AND a beard side piece? A beard wife wasn’t good enough and he wanted to show the world that he’s a super hetero so he got a beard mistress too. That racist sack of burnt foreskins invented double down bearding. John Travolta is getting an ideas.

V. Stiviano is about as trustworthy as a Lohan, but maybe she’s not totally spitting out lies to get attention. He has been accused of doing this:

Donald Sterling would bring women into the locker room after games, while the players were showering, and make comments such as, ‘Look at those beautiful black bodies.’

NOOOOO! NOOO! We don’t want him! You straights take him. We’ll trade him for ANYONE. We’ll take Larry King, okay?

One Of The Dudes Who Allegedly Punched V. Stiviano In The Face Turned Himself Into Police

There’s been a surprising development for those of us jaded, dead-hearted whores who squinted our eyes at the “V. Stiviano beat by racist strangers” story and thought there might be a chance that she was using the skills she learned at Tila Tequila’s Community College of Stunts. One of the shits nuggets who allegedly punched her in the face turned himself into the NYPD yesterday.

The NYDN says that 40-year-old Dominick Diorio of Staten Island was id’d from surveillance footage and Donald Sterling’s side piece pointed him out in a line-up. He turned himself in and was charged with assault as a hate crime and aggravated harassment. The NYDN says that Domidick and his friend were eating at the same restaurant as V. Stiviano and were drunkenly making fun of her as she ate. When she left the restaurant, they followed her outside and called her a “fucking nigger bitch” before punching her in the head and face. She was punched again and one of them said he was going to “slaughter” her.

Two people who witnessed the fight chased the racists down and whooped their asses. The cops found them bloody and lying on the sidewalk and Domidick and his racist partner in lady beating crime convinced the cops that they just fell and nothing illegal went down.

The NYPD says that the second suspect is still out there and they’re trying to track them down. Hmm, has the NYPD asked the racist stripper mom of Western New York where she was on Sunday night?

Here’s V going to the police station yesterday while wearing a sunglass visor to protect her sunglasses from harmful rays.

Pics: Splash