Horses Get Hard For Michael Fassbender

And now you and horses have something in common, besides the whole “raising your leg whenever somebody comes behind you” thing. Mia Wasikowska, who stars as Jane Eyre in Jane Eyre, tells Movie Line about how her co-star Michael Fassbender caused dozens of horses to replace the Trace Cyrus poster in their stalls with the picture above. Their neeeeeigh is now calling Michael’s name.

Mia says that Michael’s crotch has the stuff that makes horses drop their fifth leg and dream of turning his cheeks into a feedbag, and she learned about this during rehearsals. The Reverse Equus presented by Mia Wasikowska:

“Michael had a very… huge effect on any horse he got on. There was a horse on the third day of filming [when] we were shooting the scene where Jane and Rochester meet, and every time Michael hopped on the horse it got a huge erection. And he’d get off and they’d run the poor thing around the block to try to make it go away, and he’d hop on it again and it would happen all over again, and they’d have to get him off and run it around.

It happened in rehearsals and then on the day of shooting. So it was great.”

It’s easy to laugh at this, but it could’ve ended with Michael getting an anal graft on a surgeon’s table. Michael’s horse could’ve had a “moment” mid-gallop and BOOM! Horse dick hitting the ground like an anchor! Michael would’ve flown over his horse’s head and landed ass up on the dirt. Michael’s ass in the air + a ready-to-party horse – lube = not a good scene.

via HuffPo

And In This Twatter Corner…

It’s Saturday and this hangover can’t lift anything heavy, so we might as well sit third row in the lukewarm Twatter battle between Arby’s employee of the week Ciara and Raggedy Rihanna which went down last night after the former pulled the latter’s tail and made that bitch BAAAAAAAH on Twitter.

It all started when Ciara was a guest on E!’s Fashion Police last night and said that Ryan Phillippe’s part-time ass licker wasn’t all that nice when they ran into each other at a party. Roll that beautiful shade footage:

That was a bitch move of RiRi. Ciara was serving canapes and pigs and a blanket during her side catering job and RiRi couldn’t even throw her a “thank you” after she clearing the platter? Rude. And RiRi kept the hair dye-stained rudeness going on Twitter when she scratched at Ciara:

My bad ci, did I 4get to tip u? #howrudeofme
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

U gangsta huh? Haaa
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Good luck with bookin that stage u speak of
about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

And then Ciara tried to deliver a double slap to RiRi’s tenhead but missed:

Trust me Rhianna u dont want to see me on or off the stage
about 14 hours ago via web

pure comedy…
about 13 hours ago via web

RiRi quickly realized that she doesn’t want Ciara spitting in her food the next time she goes to Arby’s, so she blew her a totally sarcastic make-up kiss:

Ciara baby, I love u girl! U hurt my feelings real bad on TV! I’m heartbroken! That’s y I retaliated this way! So sorry! #letsmakeup about 14 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Just like singing ability, sarcasm is not a friend of Ciara’s and she took RiRi’s eye roll of an apology as genuine and accepted it.

Is Shanaynay writing RiRi’s Tweets for her, because that dirty tampon-headed ho is all sorts of entertaining on Twitter.

And really, Fake Katt Williams said it best TWICE:

But why Ciara trying to fight Rihanna tho? Men aint supposed to hit women.
about 13 hours ago via web

pstt @ciara say sum bout her forehead
about 14 hours ago via web

via MTO (I know, I know)