Megan Thee Stallion’s Former Friend Pleaded The Fifth At Tory Lanez’s Trial And Recanted Previous Statements She’d Made About The Shooting

As Dominique so rightly pointed out yesterday, what should have been a post-WAP victory lap of a Hot Girl Summer for Megan Thee Stallion, was transformed into a waking nightmare when “Canadian rapper” Tory Lanez allegedly shot her in the foot for reasons only very small men with severe prescription strength mouthwash-resistant halitosis and over-inflated egos masking a deep yet entirely justified sense of self-hatred and inferiority, can understand. So on Tuesday, instead of spending the day doing whatever it is that bad bitches like Megan do in the weeks before Christmas (buying thoughtful yet lavish thank you gifts for their assistants, I presume), she spent the day testifying in court about the worst day of her life. And yesterday, the hits kept coming when Megan’s former friend and assistant, Kelsey Harris, who was in the car with Megan the night she was shot and was allegedly offered a bribe to keep quiet about what happened, spent the day pleading the fifth and, in her words, “zoning out” on the stand, instead of helping Megan pick out really nice thank you gifts for the team. All because some crusty dude named Daystar Peterson rightfully hates himself. What a fucking shame.

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