Megan Thee Stallion’s Former Friend Pleaded The Fifth At Tory Lanez’s Trial And Recanted Previous Statements She’d Made About The Shooting

As Dominique so rightly pointed out yesterday, what should have been a post-WAP victory lap of a Hot Girl Summer for Megan Thee Stallion, was transformed into a waking nightmare when “Canadian rapper” Tory Lanez allegedly shot her in the foot for reasons only very small men with severe prescription strength mouthwash-resistant halitosis and over-inflated egos masking a deep yet entirely justified sense of self-hatred and inferiority, can understand. So on Tuesday, instead of spending the day doing whatever it is that bad bitches like Megan do in the weeks before Christmas (buying thoughtful yet lavish thank you gifts for their assistants, I presume), she spent the day testifying in court about the worst day of her life. And yesterday, the hits kept coming when Megan’s former friend and assistant, Kelsey Harris, who was in the car with Megan the night she was shot and was allegedly offered a bribe to keep quiet about what happened, spent the day pleading the fifth and, in her words, “zoning out” on the stand, instead of helping Megan pick out really nice thank you gifts for the team. All because some crusty dude named Daystar Peterson rightfully hates himself. What a fucking shame.

According to Rolling Stone, it wasn’t enough for Kelsey to simply invoke her fifth amendment right against self-incrimination; in addition to saying nothing, her testimony, or lack thereof, ran afoul of statements she previously made in a “bombshell recorded interview” she gave to investigators just three months ago. In that interview, which was played in court, Kelsey claimed that Tory had threatened to shoot her before allegedly turning his gun on Megan as the three of them were leaving a party where, she said, Tory had been “flirting with Kylie [Jenner].” (BARF) RS reports:

Megan Thee Stallion’s former best friend Kelsey Harris took the witness stand at Tory Lanez’s felony assault trial Wednesday as prosecutors revealed she gave a bombshell recorded interview in September claiming Lanez threatened to shoot her inside a Cadillac Escalade before he allegedly opened fire on Megan.

Prosecutors played snippets of the interview during Harris’ combative testimony as she confirmed she gave the detailed statement three months ago but claimed the damaging account was “not accurate” and that she was “not truthful” that day to “protect” herself.

Sitting steps away from a jury in a Los Angeles courtroom, Harris testified that she could no longer recall the alleged threat from Lanez inside the SUV and no longer remembered seeing him holding a gun or firing at Megan during an alcohol-fueled fight on July 12, 2020.

In one portion of the recording played for jurors, Harris was heard telling prosecutors that after Lanez allegedly said, “I’ll shoot you,” he then “reached like he was going to grab something” from the SUV’s center console.

Harris, 27, agreed she made the statement in September, but when Deputy District Attorney Kathy Ta asked her to describe the alleged threat for the jury, she clammed up and claimed “some of those things I stated, they were not accurate.”

“The night was a blur. We were under the influence,” she said on the witness stand.

She said a mix of anxiety, postpartum issues and grief related to the death of someone close to her made it difficult for her to remember details and even focus on the questions of her direct examination Wednesday.

You have got to love it when a HEAVILY PREGNANT defense gives birth to POSTPARTUM AMNESIA. Kelsey may not be able to remember what happened that night, but she knows for sure she wasn’t the one who shot Megan, a possibility that Tory’s team seems to be floating as a defense (which is probably the reason she was granted “use immunity” from prosecution). In opening statements, Tory’s attorney stated that “his client’s DNA was not found on the weapon used in the attack,” which prompted “many to speculate that piece of evidence would be used to place the blame” on Kelsey (via Variety). Earlier in her testimony, Kelsey accused Megan of orchestrating a campaign of lies against her instead of looking at the ugly little troglodyte with a bad attitude and a gun. I mean, I can’t stand looking at his ass either, but in this case, justice is on the line! According to RS:

“I don’t care to be here today,” Harris told Ta minutes into her examination. She called the trial a “triggering situation,” saying she’s suffering from “anxiety” and dealing with the birth of a child and a recent death. “I just don’t want to be here.”

She then took aim at Megan.

“She’s painted the picture that I betrayed her, she’s painted the picture that I’m this bad person, bad friend, that I took hush money. There are many lies,” she testified.

Ta then asked Harris about other alleged lies. “Were there accusations about you having shot Megan?” she asked.

“There were,” Harris replied.

“How do you feel about them?” Ta inquired.

“I mean, it’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous,” Harris said.

Damn, I hate to say it, and I don’t want to sound ridiculous, but with friends like Kelsey, Megan would have been better off taking Cara Delevegne up on her offer of undying if alarmingly enthusiastic devotion. You’re not gonna catch Cara “zoning out” on the stand; not when justice is on the line.

Pic: Abby Grant/Cover Images